It’s typical, if not expected, for most people to feel somewhat uneasy when faced with uncertainty. We tend to feel more at ease knowing that the restaurant we plan to visit serves dishes we enjoy or that familiar faces will be present at the party we’ve been invited to. I am someone who enjoys planning my day, week, and even getting a scope of what my month might look like. You can probably tell that I’m someone who doesn’t enjoy uncertainty.
I’ve recently been wondering why this causes me so much anxiety and how I can change that. It can be quite debilitating to feel the need to know what will happen when life is so naturally uncertain. So I ask, why do I feel this way and how can I combat it?
When faced with uncertainty, our perception of control is challenged. We begin to imagine all sorts of possible scenarios, many of which can be worrying or negative, to prepare ourselves. Feeling afraid of not knowing what comes next stems from our desire to control our surroundings. However, there is a lot in life that is out of our control, and when we can’t predict or influence what comes, it’s understandable to feel anxious.
If you’re someone like me, you probably find yourself engaging in behaviors that eliminate uncertainty from everyday situations or completely avoid uncertain circumstances altogether. Some examples of these behaviors include the following:
- Looking for reassurance in others: This could involve asking others for their opinion regarding a decision you need to make.
- Double-checking: An example of this could be reviewing emails multiple times or checking to see if you submitted that assignment.
- Procrastination: By refraining from doing things or being places you can sidestep feelings of uncertainty.
- Distractions: This might look like occupying yourself throughout the day, to avoid dwelling on life’s uncertainties.
The most ironic part is that the most certain thing in life is uncertainty. So rather than combat it, maybe embrace it? Something I have learned is that living life fixating on what’s to come can make you blind to opportunities and possibilities for happiness. It’s impossible to embrace a new goal in our lives when we are attached to an idea of how we think something should be.
“To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest. To live fully is to be always in no-man’s-land, to experience each moment as completely new and fresh. To live is to be willing to die over and over again.”
– Pema Chödrön
When we accept that life is uncertain and that we don’t have all of the answers, we can see that opportunities for creating happiness are always available if we pay attention. When we trust, let go, and embrace the unknown, that noise in our minds subsides.
Uncertainty has forced me to explore aspects of life I never even knew existed, making the change that comes with it so beautiful. Thinking back to times in our lives when we faced uncertainty can also help us realize that not all risks result in negative outcomes. One example of this would be when I came to university. Although the idea of being away from home and meeting new people was intimidating it allowed for personal growth and led me to meet some of my best friends who I now can’t imagine life without.
Either way, change, and uncertainty are crucial in the process of creating the type of life we want to live and the people we want to be. Without making changes there is no way for us to move forward with our lives; therefore, it is crucial that we learn to embrace, or dare I say befriend, this so-called enemy uncertainty.
Every day is a blank canvas, allow yourself to relish in the continuous renewal of life. Letting go isn’t giving up, it’s understanding that the best is yet to come.