We’ve all heard the term Man’s Best Friend. When I hear it, I picture golden retrievers fetching a ball with their tongues lolling out of their mouths, or the controversy surrounding Sabrina Carpenter’s most recent album. When it comes to women, I’ve heard diamonds are a girl’s best friend: a tongue-in-cheek expression about how financial and material wealth is more lasting than men. However, this simply doesn’t resonate with me, and I’ve been left wondering: what is a girl’s best friend? The answer I’ve found is quite obvious.
To preface, this is a love story. It begins as most cliche stories do. At a cottage, visiting old family friends, including the boy I’ve known since I was two-years-old, drinking on a sun deck. All of a sudden, one of the little girls comes up to me, explaining how their cat had kittens and they didn’t want them. There were ten little furballs being passed around to a chorus of awwws. Then, I saw the gray kitten who wouldn’t leave my arms and it was love at first sight.
I’ve never had a cat before. My family was never a cat family—we were a dog family through and through. In fact, when I was in high school, my two dogs had eight puppies. I’m not a psychopath, I thought they were so cute, but as a stereotypical vapid and dramatic teenager, I quickly got overwhelmed by our house being taken over by dogs and smells and mess everywhere I turned. It made me doubt my ability to ever have, connect, and take care of a pet of my own.
Fast forward to the second semester of my third year of university, I packed my bags and went on exchange to Istanbul, or as it is affectionately called Catstanbul as there are cats roaming the city everywhere you turn. It’s estimated that there are between 200,000 and over a million cats exploring the streets of Istanbul. These cats are absolutely spoiled, referred to as the “city’s pets”, not as strays. As an avid reader, I would often curl up in front of the Hagia Sophia and read my book, only to feel a cat curl up and get comfortable in my lap.
When I met the gray little ball of fur, I was immediately brought back to Istanbul, reminded of how much joy I feel through these little snuggles. Over exchange, I was obsessed with Canadian musician, Joni Mitchell, specifically her two songs: California, a love letter, packed with familiarity and longing, written to her city while travelling abroad, and Cactus Tree, a ballad about a woman who’s left her relationship to be independent and free—something that resonated with me deeply over exchange.
As a result, I knew I had to name my cat, Joni, as a tribute to my growth over exchange.
I had never had a cat before, I had no cat supplies on hand, I had a long day of unpacking boxes and moving into my student house ahead of me. I had never taken care of an animal before, yet the first day that I got Joni, I knew we’d figure it out together.
Since then, I’ve got to see her grow and watch my fourth-year pass through her, as she’s gotten bigger and bolder.
She’s taught me many things, but mostly, she’s reminded me of how to live in the moment. Joni never fails to turn her tiny face to absorb the sun when the rays peek through the blinds.
I’ve always been someone who is very wound up, worried that I’m not doing enough, but when Joni curls up on my lap, I don’t want to move, reach for my phone, or get up. I want to simply be, and appreciate her company and love.
Because cats are so independent, there’s a saying on the internet that cats teach consent, because you have to wait for them to approach you. They’ll come and seek your company and cuddle when they feel like it, not on your timing. Cats almost refuse to be entirely claimed, and to be loved by a cat is an intimate bond formed through trust.
I’ve always been a deeply independent person, and my independence has often felt like something I have to fight to protect. When I first got Joni, I rewatched Breakfast at Tiffany’s and felt emotional, as Holly Golightly, the main character, doesn’t want to be “tamed”. She sees herself as a free-spirit that doesn’t want to be tied down by any exterior relationships. To prove this, she only refers to her cat as Cat, and tries to “set her free” at the end, to prove she doesn’t need the relationship. The film ends with her running through the rain to rescue Cat. Her and Cat don’t need eachother, but they love eachother. The relationship between Cat and Holly seems to mirror one another, and I feel the same way about my relationship with Joni.
We both do our own things throughout the day, exploring the world in different ways, but we always end the night, curled up together. Not because we need to, but because we want to. Joni has taught me many things, but she’s taught me about a pure love built on trust that asks for nothing in return.