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The 7 Types of Cooks You’ll Have as Housemates

University is a strange time, we’re thrust into the world all by ourselves for the first time. We are expected to attend school, keep our houses clean, sleep, hang out with friends, and on top of all that we’re expected to feed ourselves? With everyone choosing to balance their time differently it’s no wonder you begin to notice the different ways you and your housemates make meals. Whether they’re always using the slow cooker, or religiously eating omelets for breakfast each person you live with has their own specific style of cooking. While you may judge them occasionally you wouldn’t change their cooking habits for the world because at the end of the day it’s what makes them unique. In the end, no matter how they cook you’re all going to get in eachother’s way at some point- Kingston houses are not known for their spacious kitchens.

1. The one who has her shit together: all she does is cook, and well  

This girl is always cooking and it’s not just pasta, it’s lasagna’s, quiche’s, roast beef! If you do a double take she might just have a roast chicken in the oven. She complains about all her leftovers then just makes more food. She’s your go-to when you’re missing a spice or vegetable, chances are she’s always stocked. You wonder how she finds the time to do anything else, wait a second…does she? Either way you bow down to her kitchen prowess. You know she’s for real because she pours vodka and wine into her pasta sauce instead of drinking it.

2. The lazy one: If it’s packaged she’s eating it

This girl lives off of ramen: spicy ramen, shrimp ramen, vegetable ramen, she’s tried it all! If she wants to mix it up you may find her making pasta and jarred sauce. She does the bare minimum. Her fridge still has the vegetables her parents bought her when she moved in. She is a busy lady who does not have time to make meals. Sure, maybe her cooking isn’t all that great but at least she has her life together.

3. The hot mess: she can (and does) burn water

This girl has lofty ambitions, but every time she goes in the kitchen it’s like a hurricane has hit. Her water’s boiling over, she’s using the counter as a cutting board, and the fridge door is wide open. She has smiled at you self-consciously many times from the sink trying to wash away the burnt bottom of a pan. She’s also known to throw things together in a pot and hopes it works, recipe who? We can give her props for creativity though, at least there is passion behind her cooking.

4. The forgetful one: goes to the grocery store once a month

This girl does not have a grocery list, unless she’s rapidly made it moments before she’s supposed to shop. You can bet she’s forgotten something crucial to her recipe. She’s also been known to get so busy she forgets to eat entirely. She keeps telling you she needs to grocery shop, but somehow, she can never find the time. You beg her to eat your leftovers just to give yourself some piece of mind.

5. The “master” chef: thinks she’s the next Gordon Ramsey

This girl’s idea of cooking is sautéing, she’ll sauté peppers, mushrooms, carrots, chicken. You name it, she’ll sauté it! She adds sautéed vegetables to rice, to pasta, to cut up chicken. Whatever she’s eating, you can bet it has sautéed vegetables in it. She likes to spice up basic dishes and call it fine dining, notably she’s experimented with canned tuna in her pasta sauces, and in her mac n cheese. She is also constantly calling her mom in the middle of cooking asking, “Is the chicken fully cooked? How long do you cook rice for?” Simplicity is not in her vocabulary, but that’s ok because experimentation is the spice of life.

6.The planner: she’s ready for the apocalypse

This girl has leftovers on leftovers. Whenever she cooks it’s never enough for just one meal, it’s enough for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the next week. Her freezer is stocked full of plastic containers, and she’s resorted to using old sauce and yogurt containers to store the extra. She always has her leftovers ready and packaged to bring to school with her. You can catch her cooking on Sunday, then at the microwave for the rest of the week. Meal preppers have nothing on this girl.

7. The phone happy one: she’s got dominoes on speed dial

This girl is pragmatic. She knows that she wants to eat good food and does not have the time to do it herself. She has the same mindset as the lazy one, but finds the idea of living off ramen depressing. She’s experimented with Uber Eats, Skip The Dishes, and of course every pizza place in Kingston (but obviously she has her favourite). You wonder if this girl has ever touched the stove, but rest assured she’s always down to share her spoils with you.

Tessa Warburton

Queen's U '21

Tessa is a 2nd year English student at Queens U.
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