All through high school, I was the friend that didn’t date. I never dated, ever. It wasn’t because I was completely against the idea of having a boyfriend. I just didn’t care enough to try and get one. It was difficult at times because all my friends had boyfriends. I always questioned whether I should be trying harder to dive into a relationship.
Now that I am officially a college freshman, I can tell you that it doesn’t get any easier. When I get on the bus to go to class every morning, I always see one of two things: a couple that is clearly at the early stages in their relationship because they act nervous around each other or a couple who evidently never heard the phrase, “there’s a time and a place for everything.” And then there’s me: the girl sitting alone, looking like she just rolled out of bed (because I totally did), listening to Harry Styles on repeat and wishing she could marry him.
As hard and annoying as it can be to see all these love-sick couples around campus, I have come to terms with the fact that I might be single for a while. If you are someone who has to deal with this too, then maybe this article will help.
I think the biggest thing to remember is that no one, and I mean no one, is worth the $40,000 you are paying in tuition. You are paying so much money to get an education; don’t put yourself in a situation where you forget why you are here. Now don’t get me wrong, it is not a bad thing to date in college. My point is that your dreams and goals must always come first. If you meet a guy, that’s great, but don’t lose sight of why you applied to college in the first place. You are trying to make a future for yourself, boys come and go.
I think what makes it hard to be comfortable while single is the age limitations society puts on everything. Everyone around you is constantly telling you at what age you should have your first boyfriend, how old you should be when you get engaged, when the right age is to have a baby. There is constant pressure to do things by the age that society has deemed that choice appropriate, and you feel horrible and let down if you don’t complete milestones on society’s timeline.
It is much more fun to find a group of empowering girls and absorb all the self-love. Since I have been single for literally my entire life, I have been there to observe all my friend’s relationships. I have seen all the ups and downs and honestly it just seems like a lot of work. I have watched relationships completely change people and morph them into people I don’t even recognize.
You must remind yourself that what you are doing is right. Everyone is on their own agenda. There isn’t a certain age you need to be to start seriously dating, and if you are in college and aren’t dating then there is nothing wrong with that! If you are comfortable in your own presence and find joy in who you are as an individual, you won’t need another person to share that love with. Always remember that you are enough, and you will always have yourself.
Go conquer the world, boys can wait.