Roommate Conflict 101: A Guide to Not Hating Each Other by the End of the Semester

When it comes to roommates, we have reached the inevitable point in the semester where you are probably driving each other crazy.  If you aren’t having roommate issues, congratulations! If you are having roommate issues, you are not alone in the slightest.  Whether its clothes all over the ground, a boyfriend who never leaves, or that 6am alarm that your roommate never shuts off, roommate issues are normal but how you work them out, is key to a happy and functional roommate relationship.

 

Communication.  At this point it’s pretty much a fact that Snapchatting or texting someone is way more desirable than actually talking to them face to face, but in the case of your roommate, it’s time to suck it up and just talk.  The most common thing I hear when someone is telling me about a problem they are having with a roommate is that they don’t want to get confrontational with them, so instead they keep it bottled up or talk about it with everyone but their roommate. While it’s understandable not wanting to start a fight with someone, talking about the problem behind your roommates back or bottling emotions up will eventually lead to a fight that is much worse than the original conversation ever would have been.  And even if it doesn’t lead to a fight, who wants to keep negative feelings bottled up inside all the time?  That’s bad for you and your mental state and the problem isn’t getting solved!  Long story short: Just talk to your roommate.  Their feelings probably won’t be hurt and having open communication keeps roommates from secretly and eventually not so secretly hating each other.Friendship.  This is where things get controversial.  I am a firm believer that you should not be best friends with your roommate.  Before you start shaking your head and arguing with me, hear me out.  If your roommate is your best and only friend, that could spell disaster.  You already live together and if you guys are spending ever single free second outside of class together; you are probably not going to last very long before you drive each other mad.  Making your own friends is rewarding and so much better than clinging to your roommate, no matter how scary making new friends may seem.  Each roommate having their own thing is the key to a balanced relationship where you want to spend time with each other instead of feeling like you are forced to be with each other at all times. No matter what issues you are going through with your roommate or even your friends at this point in the semester, keep in mind that communication and friendship can be key points in the relationship.  Being close and happy with your roommate is great, and remembering these points will help keep your room a place where you both want to be.