There are countless women’s magazines, blog spots, and scorned women, quick to eat up advice on how their female allies should deal with the axis powers of men. There are even more women who haven’t the ability, desire, patience, or perhaps experience to depict advice to their peers, turning their attention to the articles already available. I don’t claim to be experts in these articles, but of the writings I’ve came across, most are fundamentally incorrect when advising on the simple subject of men. The fundamental flaw is the lack of simplicity in the answers; men are inherently simple creatures.
Volumes of books could be, and perhaps should be, written on this subject, so I’ll focus on some of the advice articles published in Cosmopolitan. Cosmo is notorious for columns titled ’50 Sex Moves To Drive Him Wild’ or ‘7 Fashion Trends Men Hate,’ promising to help you tread the confusing waters of the male psyche. The problem with these articles is that magazines like Cosmopolitan benefit from keeping their readers confused on the subject of men. Save for the jaded men whom have been in one too many dysfunctional relationships, just having sex with a beautiful woman is enough to ‘drive him wild.’ Certainly there are fashion trends that most men hate, but our disdain is not enough to deter us from trying to sleep with the women who wear them. By making their readers believe that men actually need all of these sex moves to make us happy, Cosmo tricks its readers into coming back for more once their advice didn’t work on a particular gentleman.
But I’m here to give our side of the story.
For brevity, I will use Cosmo’s “Ultimate Date-Night Guide,” currently published on the magazine’s website, as a point of reference. Within the guide are four categories: ‘Make Him Fall For You,’ ‘Look Freaking Sexy,’ ‘New Info You Need To Know About Love,’ and ‘For Naughty Girls.’ Each category has four articles; I’ll summarize and analyze one from each.
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‘Make Him Fall For You: 7 Weird Things That Turn Guys On”
There are several articles, such as this published by Cosmo, giving lists of things men enjoy, all of which rely on anecdotal evidence. These types of articles give the audience specific references, hoping the reader will extrapolate the information to be true for all men. If you have ever taken a statistics course, you know extrapolation is a sin deadly in nature, not only in numbers but personalities alike. Here the reader is presented with examples of little instances when a guy’s partner turns him on. Any one example could easily put off certain men as sure as it excites others. Case in point: Antoine S. writes, “I love that my girlfriend hates girly drinks. She usually only sticks to vodka on the rocks, tequila, or beer. There’s something really bad-girl hot about it.” I personally know guys who would agree whole-heartedly with this man’s statement. I also have friends that would find this intimidating. Some men like strong women; others do not. Our point is it’s incorrect to assume John will be excited by something just because Scott is.
‘Look Freaking Sexy: Sizzling Lingerie He’ll Love’
Victoria’s Secret isn’t much of a secret; guys enjoy looking at women that aren’t wearing much clothing. You know it, I know it, and the clothing manufacturers know it. My objection to this article is not that Cosmo is suggesting you need to wear lingerie, it’s that they are advocating these elaborate and pricey pieces. There is absolutely no reason you should buy a bra for $95 when the guy you’re buying it for will only see it for roughly 15 to 30 seconds. Sure it looks sexy, but it looks sexier on the floor if you catch my drift.
‘New Info You Need To Know About Love: It Drives Him Wild When…’
Here again is an article laden with anecdotal evidence, from Albany to Austin. The introduction says the reported tips will spice things up a bit. The problem here is the tips are either so generic that they may as well be common knowledge, or are so vague that they don’t assist the reader. Example: Holly K. says, “Wear animal prints and low-cut shirts that show cleavage.” My goodness Holly, I’m relatively certain that women figured out men love cleavage shortly after they learned how to clothe themselves. Another example: Sharia M. writes, “Act mysterious. Not shady, mysterious.” Miss Sharia, last time I checked, acting mysterious was intrinsically ‘shady’ (I’m, of course, assuming the writer is referring to the slang definition of ‘shady,’ but we all know what assuming makes out of you and me). Cosmopolitan is failing to give an article of substance, fooling the reader into believing this is real advice.
‘For Naughty Girls’
I don’t really disagree with these articles. Get weird and try some of these out.
There is a reason why magazines such as Cosmopolitan are so popular among women. They cater to women’s desires and answer their questions. I have no qualms with Cosmo’s columns that do not pertain to men, but take offense when the magazine, and magazines similar to it, give advice to women about men that is, in most instances, incorrect. If there’s anything I want you to take away from this article, it’s this: men are not complicated. The simplest actions attract us the most.
*The views stated within this article are solely those of the author and do not reflect the ideas of Her Campus or Her Campus Purdue.
Photo Sources:
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