So you’ve just landed a date with that prince charming in your math class that’s been flirting with you since syllabus week. The day is vastly approaching and you start to think that your fratting days are long over, and you want more than a 4am after-Taco Bell casual hookup. After further thinking, you realize that you don’t even remember how to act on a date anymore. How do I dress? What do I talk about? What do I order? Ladies, look no further. I’ve compiled a short list of pet peeves that you should steer away from to insure that the frog you are kissing does indeed turn into a prince.
1. Texting while on the date: Ladies, us men know that you beautiful girls have guy’s texting you constantly trying to get in your pants. With that said, this is NOT the time and place to respond to that creeper in your OLS class wanting to “study together”. To say we would like our 60 minutes of self-worth before you release us of all of our summer funds would be an understatement.
2. Saying, “I’ll just have a salad”: Spoiler Alert, we know you eat more than air for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Let me translate this real quick. So you’re hungry as Betty White without her Snicker’s and could eat two Big Macs right now, but you’re trying too hard to be proper and look like a lady. We want to see the real you, so there’s no shame in ordering that triple chocolate brownie for dessert.
3. Wearing too much makeup: So Bozo the clown just called and he wants his makeup back. If this applies to you or it looks like a bunch of four-year-olds were learning to face paint, you are wearing too much. I think saying that we prefer the more natural look is an understatement.
4. Talking about ex-boyfriends: We get it, they suck!
5. Abundance of body hair: When it comes to makeup, there is no doubt that you want to go with the more natural feel. With the body hair? Not so much. Adam & Eve were centuries ago, and so was that look.
6. Questions on questions on question: Realize that there is a difference between getting to know someone, and grilling them with more questions than a presidential debate. Although we could also use some interview practice, remember that there’s a time and a place.
7. Don’t be late: I don’t like kids as it is.
8.You smell: Believe it or not I’m not talking about your lack of showering. Well, we all hope not anyways. I’m talking about the JWows and Meatheads out there. Now don’t get me wrong, we do like a brief smell of Viva La Juicy here and there. But you’re crazy if you think for a second we want to spend more time coming down from the fixating high of your perfume than enjoying our last good meal for weeks.
9. Chick Flick first dates: Other than minivans, nothing says a woman has a hold of your testicles than a chick flick. And to have to jump into that on the first date? Better luck getting me to watch an episode of the Bachelor. If at all possible a comedy is clutch and will give the two of you something to laugh and talk about for weeks.