It’s a cold winter day as I’m walking down State Street to class in my old sweatshirt, puffy winter coat and heavy boots. I come to a crosswalk at the exact same time as another girl, presumably also walking to class. However, her long blonde hair is meticulously curled. Her thick infinity scarf is tucked perfectly into crisp black pea coat and her shiny, black Hunter boots gleam brightly in the sun. Instantly, I take all these details in and get that feeling. You know the feeling? The feeling where you look at yourself next to that perfect person or thing and wish you could just crawl back into bed. In all honesty, I get that feeling probably 20 times a day. Anything can trigger it, a well-dressed girl on the sidewalk, an adorably decorated dorm room, or a social media post announcing a friend’s glamorous summer internship. Every day I see things that immediately make me question my own sense of style, creativity, or skill set. I am intimately familiar with that feeling of disappointment in yourself and hopelessness set off by comparing yourself to others.
But, today, I’m telling you to set yourself free. Comparison is a trap. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” The moment you look at someone or something else and begin to compare yourself to them, you are allowing yourself to feel inferior. You are you, and that is actually great. Start embracing it. Do not look to the left. Do not look to the right. Focus on what is directly in front of you. Focus on developing yourself as person. Focus on loving yourself. No one else’s achievements, looks, personality, or possessions matter.
Besides, everyone is faking it anyway. No one really knows what they’re doing. When you compare yourself to someone or something that makes you feel insecure, you are doing yourself a massive disservice. You cannot know everything about a person or thing just by a cursory glance. What people tend to project is perfectly groomed, manicured and shallow. You will never see what is really lurking below the surface. It is unfair to compare your most vulnerable, authentic self to someone else’s controlled and curated outward appearance. You will never win that battle. Acknowledge the fact that everyone is doing their best to get by, and no one has everything completely held together.
In reality, perfection does not exist. There is not a perfect path to success. Dressing a certain way, doing your makeup a certain way or winning certain awards are not true indicators of perfection. We’re all human. We have good hair days and bad hair days. We win some and lose some. Our paths in life wind, twist and branch off in many different directions. Comparison is useless in this world as there is no perfect method or technique for anything in this life. Do yourself a favor and quit comparing yourself to others. Most importantly, remember these wise words of Laurel Thatcher Ulrich, “Well behaved women seldom make history.”