Between deadlines, exams, trying to stay involved, and everything else, keeping mentally-sane can seem almost impossible. Coming from a small town in Indiana and never moving before in my life to a Big Ten school that has more than six times the number of students enrolled than my town population was a big change. Growing up I never really talked about my mental health or my struggles. But college has helped me grow as a person and I now feel strong enough to open up about my struggles and maybe even help others
Currently I am being treated for ADHD, anxiety, and insomnia. I know ADHD is not a mental disorder, but it falls under the umbrella of mental health. I got tested and started to receive treatment for ADHD in the third grade. I never talked about it with my friends until later in high school. I was ashamed and felt that I already had so many things that made me different and I didn’t want one more. So, I had to study more than my friends and even get extra help with my school work.
Now that I am older I think I have a better control over it and I accept it as part of who I am. I don’t try and hide it, but I never mention unless somebody else does. I accept it without letting it define who I am.
I have known that I have had anxiety since the seventh grade. I remember being in health class learning about different types of mental health disorders. When we got to defining anxiety, I thought that I finally found a way of describing what goes on in my mind. I also felt happy that I wasn’t alone and that other people’s minds functioned like mine. However, I never spoke up about it to my parents because at the time I was afraid they would take me out of cheer or I would be sent away to get “better”. I didn’t speak up or talk about it until the end of my freshman year of college. I reached out to a friend I knew who was being treated for it and they helped me until I finally talked to my parents. I wish I had talked to them in the seventh grade because they have been so loving and supporting through everything. I have been getting treated for anxiety for over a year now. Anxiety is still the biggest struggle I face with my mental health, but I do think I have gotten better though.
My insomnia ties into my anxiety. I used to stay up worrying myself so much that I could not sleep. At one point I was awake for 52 hours because I was so worried about an exam that anytime I laid down I felt like my heart was pounding out of my chest.
After that I knew I needed to talk to someone. I reached out to my Mom and I set an appoint to see my psychiatrist. I have been receiving treatment for insomnia for over a year now. I do still have nights when I can’t sleep but only when I feel like it is too late to take my sleeping medicine.
As I have grown older I have become more aware how important it is to take the time to focus on mental health. I don’t feel embarrassed or ashamed anymore of my struggles and I hope opening up helps others. I know I have surrounded myself with a good support system.
However, I know not everyone is that lucky so if you don’t have anyone you feel like you can reach out to try seeing a therapist or even downloading an app that connects you to one. Also, don’t be afraid to call crisis hotlines.