An Open Letter to Makeup

Dear Makeup,

Our relationship has changed throughout the years. My interest in wearing makeup sparked when I was 16 after I discovered beauty tutorials on YouTube. I was glued to the computer screen, mesmerized that these beauty gurus could seamlessly change the way they looked. I admired their passion and creative skill set, though deep down I wanted to hide all my imperfections and insecurities. I didn't want people to see my uneven skin and dark circles. Though in retrospect, my skin wasn't even that bad.

I desired nothing more than to be perfect and it came to a point where I wasn’t comfortable leaving the house without it. During my senior year of high school, I forced myself to go a day without makeup. It was horrifying thinking that people were judging me and I could hear them thinking, “Wow, she looks so different without makeup.” The funny thing was that I didn’t wear makeup my freshmen and sophomore year of high school. They say that ignorance is bliss, and sometimes I wish I hadn’t stumbled onto the videos. Then I might not have considered that there was anything wrong with my face and my skin might be clearer today.

I still cringe when I remember that one time I caked on so much foundation during my freshmen year of college for a school event that I left a blob of my foundation on my professor’s white cardigan after giving her a hug. I hope no one saw that and the stain was able to come out. Sadly, this wasn’t the only incident where I applied my makeup too heavily Don’t even get me started on my prom makeup.

As my college workload got heavier and my responsibilities began to stack, I gradually waned away from wearing it, especially since I was too tired in the morning to apply it.  Now I only wear it 2-3 times a week or I might go months without wearing it. It’s so liberating knowing that I am now in control and I can embrace my natural face more. Don’t get me wrong, makeup, I still love you. You’re there for me when I just want to hide my face from the world. You provide me with confidence to conquer my day, and help me to enhance my natural features so that when I take you off at night, I can appreciate them more. I’m not sure how I would feel if you were gone, but I also wish that I can learn to start my day without even having the thought at the back of mind if I should wear you or not.