As a sophomore I remember walking my high school halls, basically restraining myself from face palming (I think I had come out of Spanish class before butchering literally one of the most simple things) when I ran into my English teacher. She took one look at me, and like any polite adult, asked me how I was doing. I sighed, letting my shoulders hang for a bit, before responding, “I’m just so awkward.” She seemed to smile before uttering a simple solution. With unwavering confidence, she told me that if I gave it enough time, I’ll no longer seem to care. At that age, I was desperately holding out for that day. “Why?” you ask? It could take me a surprising amount of time to list the number of things that I’ve done in my life that have given surveying people very, very strong second-hand embarrassment.
Exhibit A: In high school, I once texted a guy in my class about my period instead of my mom. And while the texts preceding my very unfortunate mistake were extremely interesting, I’ll leave them up to your imagination.
Exhibit B: I have sung an ENTIRE SONG off-key DURING AN ACOUSTIC SET on stage in front of my ENTIRE HIGH SCHOOL. And I know what you’re thinking: it couldn’t possibly have been that bad. But oh, it was. How do I know? Blunt comments from my freshman year English teacher seemed to have confirmed my suspicions.
Exhibit C: My senior year, while running for student council, my friends and I were required to make a speech in front of the entire school. We thought it would be an absolutely spectacular idea to RAP our speech instead of, I don’t know, JUST TALKING. So there we were, matching in t-shirts, me beat-boxing into a mic, my friend, who’s British, rapping incomprehensibly, and my best friend dancing in the background. Needless to say, we didn’t win.
And it’s not even periodical cringe-filled moments. The awkwardness graces my everyday life as well. This includes unreturned waves, tripping on sidewalks, going off on very odd tangents with friends and, weirdly, strangers.
And I’m not going to lie. There was a point in time when these “incidents” really, really bothered me. I would be stuck, mulling over the same uncomfortable events over and over and over. While today I still carry that same spirit and spunk (as my high school’s French teacher might have noted) of my 13-year-old self, I’ve learned some “Tori-isms” (my name is Tori in case you didn’t know) that have helped me cope and not shout out “Ugh, I can’t believe you did that” randomly while reminiscing.
1. Learn to Laugh About It.
One of the biggest things you’re gonna have to learn how to do is get ready to laugh at yourself. One time I walked into an American Eagle before being greeted by some 6 ‘1 guy in (you know how they dress) a flannel and a puffy vest (personally, I thought it was a little hot for that, but I guess not). In response to his friendly welcome, I rambled out something along the lines of “Very well, thank you.” Now that wouldn’t have been a problem, except for that fact that all he said to me was a mere, mumbled…”Hey.” To review, I don’t know if you realize this, but I clearly did not return the appropriate response. And, yeah, I’m pretty sure he picked up on it. Afterward, I screwed on my best smile, before practically speed-walking to the clearance rack. After what felt like a split second, I went into straight cringe mode. Still, four or five seconds after that, I managed a chuckle. The point is, chances are, whatever you’re stressing about is not that deep. It’s really not. If you can learn to not take life so seriously, you’re golden. To put it simply, STOPING CARING SO MUCH and laugh about it because if you’re really as gosh darn awkward as you self-proclaimers make yourself out to be, your life is probably pretty funny.
2. Don’t just be you, exploit it.
One of my biggest problems with middle school teachers was the fact that they seemed to be robots repeating the same seemly easy to do proverb : “just be you.” Let me tell you, as a middle schooler, I thought that that was a heaping load of stinking crap. And not even for why you would probably think. I hated that saying because it always left me wondering: how the heck am I supposed to be who I am when I don’t even know who I am. And I’m not saying that a whole lot of you self-proclaimed awkward people are struggling with identity. But if you are, that’s totally okay. But once you accept who you are, be that person regardless of the consequences. If you like makeup and your boyfriend doesn’t; girl, do what you want. If you don’t wanna wear makeup and other people do; girl, do what you want. If you want to remain silent (if that’s really who you are); you do you. On the contrary, if you want to be a chatterbox; do it. Not only that, be the extreme version of yourself. Stand out. Distinguish yourself. Be memorable. Draw in the right people that are not only similar but compatible to you. The truth is people are attracted to authenticity. So be authentic.
3. Think about life in perspective.
One day, my high school mentor brought up the mysterious idea of a legacy. Who did you want to be remembered as? Who did you want to be?
If you’re like me, in high school, the biggest thing preventing you from doing things was yourself. If you can just take five seconds to get over the misleading cruciality of things around you, you might find yourself in places you never expected and, I don’t know, you might actually enjoy it. The truth that no one seems to tell you is in five years, or even two months, you won’t remember half the embarrassing things you obsess over.
Don’t sweat the small stuff. Don’t over think. Don’t play the assuming game.
4. Do something that future you would be proud of.
Last but not least, this is the biggest piece of advice I’ve found myself giving others. Do something that future you would be proud of. When you look back at your high school years, at your college years, or even (I guess this isn’t too far off for some because apparently getting that ring by spring is a real thing) during the first few years of your relationship, what do you wish you could say? How do you wish you would act? Obviously, you can’t control others’ actions, or your future significant other’s for that matter, but you can control yours. When you feel socially awkward, it’s the same. Do what future you would look back on and smile at.
The fact of the matter is everyone’s a bit awkward. I just think others are a bit better at hiding it. So take a deep breath and take these tips to heart. Something that we forget is that we all have amazing things that we bring to the table. If that’s true, why not share them?