Lately, I feel like everyone around me is getting into a relationship; and if not a relationship, then there’s a man they’re probably obsessing over. I have to wonder – why is that? We’re strong, independent, 20-year-old women who’ve made it this far; why do you feel the need to have a man in your life?
Don’t misunderstand me; I love men. Whether you’ve known me for three years or three minutes, you know that I love men. The thing is: I don’t want a boyfriend. I know… shocking, right?
No disrespect to the women that are happy in their relationships, but I have to question what defines being happy in a relationship. For a lot of my friends, its actions: the FaceTime every night (if you’re long distance), the need to be asked to formal, being the star of their Instagram stories. I have to wonder if actions speak louder than words for most women.
Maybe it’s the environment we’re in. I’ve never thought that being in a relationship in college was realistic, but then again, if you don’t have a boyfriend then you end up obsessing over that one-night-stand or the hot guy on Tinder who unmatched you for no reason.
Why do we need a man to make it happen? As the Pussycat Dolls once said, you don’t. If you’re not about to listen to a girl group from 2005, then let me break it down for you:
You don’t need a man to validate you. I’ve seen so many friends of mine make the mistake of thinking that they need a man to make them happy; to make them feel better; to make them feel worthy. I’m not saying I’m a pro when it comes to this (because I’m not), but you should be doing things for yourself and nobody else.
You don’t need a man to be successful. Women have come a long way from needing to get married to have wealth. A lot of my friends have expressed to me that they want to have a career before they get married – and I feel the same way.
You don’t need a man to be motivated. If you’re finding that your significant other has to motivate you to get out of bed in the morning, then maybe you need to reconsider the purpose of your relationship. Again, the last thing you need is to depend on a man for self-worth.
The point is, it’s ok to be alone. You should never need a man to feel like you’ve accomplished something. Remember that happiness is a way of traveling, not a destination!