I am not encouraging you to break up with your wonderful boyfriend by any means. I was in that spot last year around this time. My boyfriend was wonderful and supportive and when we broke up, I thought it was the end of the world — until it was just the beginning.
Breakups are just eye-openers and expose more opportunities. The biggest privilege is being able to explore yourself and spending time doing the things you love.
A breakup forces you to do those things. Since my breakup, I’ve been able to do things and I’ve rediscovered my love for reading. I was able to read seven books over spring break. This is a small thing that I have always loved to do, but it’s also something that I can do on my own that provides me with fulfillment.
Being in a relationship sometimes makes people depend on others for fulfillment. Having time to do these small tasks has helped me gain the ability to do this myself. This has also made my confidence rise so much.
The breakup has also been able to make me a lot more comfortable being alone. Being in a long-term relationship made me a bit more co-dependent than I would like. I had a really hard time doing things completely alone initially.
Learning to love doing things on my own again has made just feel a lot better about myself. Not to mention me being someone whose social battery runs out very quickly, learning to be on my own again has been so much more calming for me.
Not to mention the opportunities it has opened up for me. I don’t particularly understand why I never did things for myself while being in a relationship, but since getting out of it, it’s all I’ve been doing.
Since the breakup, I got up the courage to get much more involved in campus, doing some things that I’ve wanted to do for so long and others I couldn’t have imagined doing and now love.
The first thing I did was apply to be a writer for Her Campus, which has been so empowering working on a team with all women. It has also relit my love for writing articles and helped me become such a stronger writer.
The second thing I did was join a service organization on campus. I had to rush this particular service organization so the process was pretty intimidating for me. This alone made me so much more comfortable talking to new people.
Once I was let into this organization, I’ve done so many more fun fundraising opportunities for THON and other organizations. Along with introducing me to people who have become my best friends, I don’t think I would have met them if I didn’t rush.
Right after my breakup, I was worried and very overdramatic when I thought “I don’t know how I could do life without him.” Being alone and re-learning all the things I love is an experience that I will never stop loving, and has been so rewarding to my confidence.