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Why You Need Some Time for Yourself

For a long time, I couldn’t remember the last time I was truly alone. 

Ever since my junior year of high school, I always had “someone.” There was always someone I was flirting with, talking to, or casually hanging out. None of these would last, and I noticed that these relationships — if you can even call them relationships — were superficial. 

None of these boys truly knew me, and I didn’t know them either. If you asked me about their hopes, dreams, fears and struggles, I would have no idea of what to say. My fear of being alone and constant need for validation made me continue to seek for partner after partner.

It took me many of these failed consecutive relationships to learn these five reasons why you should have some time for yourself.


You will learn where your priorities lie

Maybe you thought being with your significant other was the thing you wanted the most in the whole world. Now, you will have the time to figure out what you want to do with your life. 

You might find yourself thinking about aspects of your life that are important to you, but you didn’t do because of your S.O. Maybe that means leaving home to study abroad or taking a job in another city. 

woman meditating alone
Photo by Cliff Booth from Pexels


You will learn to love yourself 

This point has been the most important one I have learned during quarantine. Without someone complimenting and validating you, you will need to learn to truly love yourself. 

Love yourself written on wall
Photo by Nicole De Khors from Burst/Shopify

Before my time alone, my confidence regarding my appearance was based on the compliments I received from someone else. Now I understand I don’t need anyone telling me I look pretty to feel pretty.


You become more confident

By being alone, you will become more confident — and I don’t mean only physical appearance. After spending time with someone who underappreciated  you deserved or didn’t make any type of effort, you might want to take a step back and analyze what your relationship was like. 

Realizing that you deserve better and setting boundaries can increase your confidence and will teach you to not accept dust when you deserve gold.


girl with jean jacket yellow wall
Taylor Thoman / Her Campus

You will have more time to explore your talents

Whether we like it or not, relationships take time. You used to have another person to spend time with, and now that the person isn’t in your life anymore, you might find yourself with some extra time. Maybe you hung out every Thursday night or had lunch on the weekends. 

Photo by Canva Studio from Pexels

You will have this extra time that can be used to do things that you always wanted to, but never had the time. Go take that yoga class, explore your cooking skills, or maybe — like me — explore your writing skills by writing about relationships (lol).

You will understand that it’s okay to be alone

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

Embrace your single life. It is your time to focus on yourself, do all the things you want to do, go out with your friends and realize that you do not need to have someone next to you all the time. 


From my personal experience, having this time to myself helped me understand my feelings and goals, and I finally realized what I am actually looking for in a partner. 


Understanding that it is okay to be alone and taking that time to focus on myself shaped me into a more confident version of me, and I believe everyone should take that time before jumping head first into another relationship. 

Renata is from Amazonas, Brazil, and studies international politics and broadcast journalism at Penn State. Her hobbies include reading and writing, editing pictures, and dancing for fun. She likes to learn new languages, currently speaks four, and is trying to learn a fifth. Fun fact: she wrote a book, but let’s not talk about that.
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