It’s the season of giving and reflecting upon the things we have that we are most grateful for. I am grateful for so much in my life. I love my family and my friends, and I am so grateful that I go to Penn State. On that note, though, there are a few things here that I could really do without.
As my first semester winds down, and in the (anti) spirit of Thanksgiving, here are a few things that I am not grateful for at Penn State.
- CATA bus drivers
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How lucky are we to have a free bus system that takes us all around campus and downtown? That should be my thinking while on the bus, but it is hard to think of anything positive while I am shoved further and further towards the very back while the driver screams for everyone to keep filling in. I’ve decided that the CATA bus drivers make it their mission to make the already bleak ride to class as chaotic as possible.
Some of them drive at the speed of light and then slam on their breaks, throwing you into the lap of an unsuspecting fellow student. Others know telepathically when you are five minutes behind schedule and subsequently drive 10 miles below the speed limit to punish you for your tardiness even more. Others simply laugh and shake their heads as you try and fail to run after the bus before the doors slam shut right in front of you, with a look of “better luck next time” plastered across their smug faces.
- Big noon kickoff
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The people over at FOX clearly do not remember being in college and going out on a Friday night. No student wants to be up before 1 p.m. on a Saturday, let alone be ready in time for a noon game. To get in a full day of tailgating before a noon kick-off time, you have to wake up at 5 a.m., maybe even earlier.
And of course, no Penn State student is going to sacrifice a Friday night of hijinks just to get a good night’s rest before the game, so we just rally and do both. Begrudgingly, of course.
- Athletes and their scooters
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Something about stepping onto an electric scooter makes the athletes here think they have immunity from the rules of the road and just common decency. Too many times have I been near catastrophe at the hands of someone wearing the signature backpack and stylish Penn State jacket synonymous with the athletic cult here.
Look, I know you’re more athletic than me, that’s why you’re here for a sport. So why not use that natural athleticism and walk to class? Or at least give us mere civilians a signal before we feel the wind whip behind us in a near-miss accident.
- Pollock Testing Center
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If you are looking to simulate the feeling of an inmate on the walk to death row, just schedule an exam at the Pollock Testing Center. The brick facade and the literal metal turnstiles you have to go through do wonders for those with testing anxiety. There’s no better place to suffer through an exam for a class you haven’t been paying attention in since week one, than in a room fully monitored by cameras every 5 inches.
Once you are finally done with your exam, you can’t even escape until you scan your ID and get through another set of barricades. I get the check-in before, but why are they keeping me in there even 5 seconds longer than necessary? And don’t forget to shred your seat number card on the way out, thus destroying all evidence you were ever in there.
- The Walk to frat row
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The social scene at Penn State is nothing to complain about. There is nothing better than getting to go out with your friends after a long week of chaos.
But before you can enjoy yourself, you have to endure the treacherous two-mile walk downtown with no jacket. That is unless you want to endure the somehow worse CATA bus ride. By the time I get to the doors of the frats, I find myself wondering if I even want to go in at all.
- the walk back to east halls after a night out
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In the same spirit, the walk back is made worse by the slight uphill the whole way, simulating a treadmill set to 12 incline. Nothing makes me wish I had gone to the gym more than feeling my calves burn as I walk up the sidewalk, slightly hunched over for a mile.
Mind you at this point in the night, the temperature has no doubt dropped 15 degrees more from the walk there which you thought couldn’t get any worse.
- Ohio State
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I know hating Ohio State is kind of our thing here, but this year I feel particularly bitter because for some reason I really had my hopes up that we could finally beat them. Call me a narcissist for thinking they could win the first year I’m here but the better word is naive.
At least now I can prepare myself for many more 11-1 seasons. Everyone needs a reality check and mine came as we tried the same play three times at the 1-yard line. Maybe we’ll keep winning if James Franklin keeps calling for “White-Out Energy” at every press conference.
- dining halls
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This last grievance is less Penn State-specific (I know, finally some positivity) and more centered around the concept of dining halls in general. Trust me, I appreciate the good deal that it is.
$3 for dinner is not common in this economy, but I just don’t know how much more mystery meat I can consume on a daily basis. I wish they were confident enough in themselves to serve more normal dishes every day. A casual cheeseburger or bowl of pasta would do wonders here or there.
I feel guilty not getting the exotic dish they prepare so the server and I exchange a knowing glance as they scoop it onto my plate, both knowing it will end up untouched on the conveyor belt headed back into the kitchen at the end of the night.
I offer this commentary not as much as a list of grievances but more as an encouragement to this wonderful institute to do better and strive for more every day. I know we can do it. WE ARE!