There’s something super strange about walking on the campus for the first day of senior year and realizing this is your first last day of school. I feel like we spent so much of our lives waiting for this moment to happen, but we never knew how to expect it.
For years, I pictured what my senior year of college would look like, and I honestly thought it would be completely different from what it has been. I thought I was gonna be excited for whatever comes next, and even though I’ve had so many great things and opportunities come this school year, I’m realizing that instead of counting down the days to leave college, I’m looking around campus and I’m realizing how quickly everything has gone by.
It was almost like walking to class, getting food with friends, sitting in the library, going to events and even rushing to class because I’m running late- all things I’ve done countless times- would be a constant for a lot longer. But now, in the back of my head, I have a thought that I’m not gonna be doing this forever.
I think the weird part is you start actually noticing the “lasts” before they even happen.
I realize this is the last time that I’ve had a first week of classes at Penn State. There will be a last football game, a last late-night trip for food, the last random Tuesday or Thursday spent at the bars or doing absolutely nothing with my friends, and eventually it will be the last time I’m walking across campus as a student.
I think there’s a part of me that still doesn’t fully understand how to grasp my emotions.
At the same time, my senior year has been super exciting. So many opportunities have opened up, and there’s something super special about knowing I’m getting closer to the next chapter of my life. I’ve spent the last few years figuring out what I wanna do and who I am.
I’m not the same person who walked on campus freshman year; I’ve changed my interests, and I’ve made new friends. But I think there’s also a lot of pressure surrounding your senior year. People have this idea that this is your last chance, that you should make everything count, have a perfect senior year, make the perfect memories and somehow enjoy every second of it.
But the truth is, I don’t think every moment needs to be special.
Some days will be, and have been, super stressful. Some days I will be tired or doing absolutely nothing, and I’ll probably complain about the assignments, the deadlines and having so much work to do between internships. But I did realize this is something that I’ve always wanted for 21 years.
I think the hardest part is knowing something is your last; you become so focused on the fact that it will end, and you forget that you are still in the middle of it.
So as my senior year continues, I’m trying not to think too much about all the lasts. I still have a whole school year ahead of me and things I haven’t experienced.
That’s what we should focus on most.