So Your Roommate Has a Boyfriend

Let’s face it: whether you’re cynical about love or you’re a hopeless romantic, love is everywhere we go. But sometimes it’s a little too close for comfort, especially when you find yourself waking up in the morning only to realize you're facing your roommate’s boyfriend as his mouth is wide open and his sheets unfortunately decided not to cover his unattractive belly. (I know, his non-existent abs make it even worse). Not to mention, our beds are only three feet away from the snoring bear himself. Although we have all the power to us to just leave the room all day and be so called “sexiled”, some of us were blessed with the best attribute of all- stubbornness - and if you’re anything like me, you know that room is 100% yours too and you have all the right to stay in there all day even when they clearly want you out. So, if your current roommate has a boyfriend or you just for some reason want to know what it’s like, I hope you enjoy the 10 things that every girl with a roommate that has a boyfriend would understand: 

 

1. “Is it okay if *insert boy name that every time you hear you also want to jump off a cliff* visits this weekend?”

Literally he was just here last weekend… and the weekend before. Why don’t you just tell him to sleep in the library, I heard they have beds in there. *thinks about what she would do if you actually said that*

2. The inappropriate PDA and disturbing giggling you sadly learned to fall asleep to.

Yes, I can hear you kissing and yes, it makes me feel REALLY uncomfy. I would tell you to get a room, but wait - your room is my room… how unfortunate. I guess I’ll put my headphones in and listen to white noise for the third night in a row to help tune out your inner 5-year-old girl giggles.

3. Walking into your room and knowing you just walked in on something you wish you didn’t.

I’m sorry you can’t get it on right now, you had last weekend to do that and the other thousand times I left the room today. Better luck next time!

4. “You don’t have a boyfriend so you don’t know what it’s like to do long distance.”

Ok yes, that may be true, but I know for a fact that if I did do long distance I would visit him the same amount as he visits me. You visited him ONCE. How is he ok with spending all of that gas cash?

5. Wondering how you’re going to change clothes when he’s in the room and clearly not leaving.

So, like, are you just going to be here for the rest of eternity? Because this girl needs to take a shower, now. AKA you need to leave so I can strip, please and thank you.

6. Why do all men have chronic snoring syndrome?

Beloved roommate, how are you not slapping him in the face right now so he turns over and stops snoring? I guess I’m just not as nice as you? Headphones and white noise, here we meet again.

7. “Baby, you look so sexy right now.”

Maybe this one is just me, but I’ve heard it so many times that I’ve mastered my cringe face. The gif explains it all - I’m right here! Say that when, I don’t know, I’m not in the same tiny room as you.

8. Noticing that both of them are in their PJs, ready to cuddle and watch a movie at 8 p.m.

So, I’m going out at 10 p.m. but I need these two more hours to jam to my early 2000s playlist while dramatically sweeping highlighter on my face. I can’t do that with you two spooning with the lights off. Did I mention I need to try on like five outfits before I realize that the first outfit looked the best? Can’t do that with you here either.

9. Hoping they go out tonight so you get the room to yourself for once.

Please, please, please don’t stay in tonight. I’ve given you so much personal space this weekend so you should give me mine. Besides, why would you want me in the room tonight with you, anyway?

10. Being in the room when they gave an argument.

Oh, this is so awkward. I feel uncomfy again. Remember that feeling when you were younger and your friends’ parent started yelling at them while you were over their house? I feel like that right now. I’m just going to awkwardly leave and let you two cool off.

 

GIFs via Giphy