The second Thursday into the spring semester, I got food poisoning. I could lay out all the gory details of the 15-hour vomit phenomenon, as I humbly laid out to my professors, with deep regrets, I cannot come to class because I cannot hold down Gatorade because I had lunch in the dining hall. And much, much, more.
What’s worse is between my food poisoning episodes, I found myself entirely concerned about what I was missing, how far behind I would become, and how guilty I’m going to feel calling out of work.
I’m not the only one who does this. On numerous occasions throughout my education, my friends would always lament the inconveniences that come with sickness.
Where does that pressure come from? How do we overcome it?
Let’s go over the facts. I cried over missed participation points and assignments. I got caught up. I felt like throwing up all over again calling out of work. My boss was understanding and hoped for my recovery.
Objectively, everything was fine on everyone else’s end, but I still felt at fault for getting sick.
This means it’s an internal thing, which is getting somewhere. Start at the source.
Getting Over the Guilt
I am a sophomore. I am not juggling an internship or preparing for an imminent career, but my balance of responsibilities goes as follows: school, work, extracurriculars.
These are in no particular order of importance, but rather things that make up my participation in my own life that are sometimes sacrifices that are to my betterment. And for that I am grateful.
But when you get sick, guilt and resentment can work themselves in from the outside; This was not on the schedule, there is no time for this.
It can feel like your world is turning on you, because with the pace of college, you can miss so much in a day. Everything you planned to stay ahead of can pass you by in 24 hours.
It’s about accepting what your body is communicating and waiting it out. You can communicate and work around a schedule, but you are not going to work your way around illness.
The quickest way is to be selfish. Your body depends on you, too.
Getting Back Into the World
Coming back to class or a job after being sick can be a very stressful experience. You’re exhausted, behind, and scared to eat at the dining hall again (in my experience). Things feel off. You’re the only one who thought it was a four-day weekend.
You begin most sentences like “I was absent on Friday, could you tell me,” to the poor people sitting next to you and you feel a tinge of guilt once more.
But then they help you. And ask why you were out and if you are okay, and they understand. They just had food poisoning a week ago. “It’s going around.”
So hold onto hope. You are not that alone.
The first day that you make it back to all of your classes, there’s one blissful golden truth: “At least I went.”