College is all about forming relationships and making new connections. One of the most important bonds you’ll create in college is friendship.
However, it is important to know when someone is being a good friend or not. Keep reading to learn some of the red and green flags of a college friend.
Let’s start off with some red flags.
I know that when you start your freshman year, everything is so new and exciting you may get wrapped up in the fun of it.
Not everyone you meet is going to be your best friend. And that is OK!
You will meet your people, whether that’s on the first day of school or halfway through senior year. College is all about exploring yourself and new connections, so don’t get discouraged if you are slow to find your friends.
I think one of the biggest red flags to look out for is when people only reach out to you when they need something.
Don’t let these so-called friends take advantage of you only when it’s convenient for them. Your real friends will always prioritize you and make sure the friendship is equal.
Going off of that, another red flag that I see a lot is when someone is unreliable or flakey.
If they aren’t putting your friendship first, don’t call them a friend. Don’t let people waste your time after you make plans and they cancel last minute.
A red flag that is a complete deal breaker for me is when I find out someone talked about me behind my back.
If someone has a problem with you and they don’t have the guts to come say it to your face, they aren’t a real friend. Friends will always talk things out no matter how big or little the argument is.
The last red flag, and arguably the biggest one, is when someone pushes your boundaries. If they were a real friend, they would know your limits and wouldn’t pressure you to go past them if you are uncomfortable.
Now, onto the green flags.
I feel like green flags in a friendship are easier to point out than red flags. Red flags can sometimes go unnoticed for a while. However, it is always important to remember what it means to be a good friend.
One of the best things you can do in a friendship is support one another goals and achievements. A great friend will always celebrate your wins and encourage you to reach your fullest potential.
A great friend will check in on you. Sometimes just because. There doesn’t have to be a reason. It is seriously one of the best feelings when I get a text from one of my long-distance friends, and they just ask me how I’m doing and we exchange little life updates.
Another green flag in a friendship is open and honest communication. This is important, especially for newer friendships. It allows the other person to know more about you, your boundaries, your priorities and the other little things that make up you.
The last green flag, and one of the most important, is that they accept your for who you are. A lot of best friends have different personalities and interests, but they work because they are accepting of each other and don’t judge their differences.
I hope this was helpful to all my college freshmen, as well as anybody joining a new place and trying to build meaningful and true connections. There are good people and bad people everywhere, but I promise you will find your friends. It can’t be forced or faked. Just let it come naturally and it will happen for you.