Halloween is nationally recognized as the scariest day of the year; however, there are many events that I would argue are scarier. These are the common Penn State experiences that I find scarier than Halloween itself. If you attend this school, you’ve most likely been through most, if not all, of these items. Grab your fall blanket, because this list is sure to give you goosebumps.
- The Hub from 10 A.M. – 2 P.M.
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If you’re ever in between classes, feeling hungry, tired and just want a snack or a place to sit, the HUB is probably not the place for you.
Despite the number of food options and seating, every line will have 30 people, and every seat will be taken. Not to mention, you will probably run into every single person you know.
While you’re walking in, there will be several different tables set up by clubs and organizations trying to get your involvement. Their intentions are pure, but having to decline invitations to join a club whilst simultaneously being the most overstimulated you have ever been can be overwhelming.
Oh– and when you do find a seat, be prepared for it to have crumbs and remnants from the previous person’s Panda Express all over it.
- Men’s Halloween Costumes
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Speaking of Halloween, if you really want to be spooked, just pull up Instagram and see some of these costume choices. If they’re not an orange-jumpsuit-clad prisoner, waiting for a girl dressed as a cop to arrest them, they’re most likely dressed as the Joker.
Most of the time, though, they might throw on a jersey and call it a day. Yet, in the same breath, they’ll call a girl’s costume “basic.”
And of course, you can always be confident that the same guy dressed as Hugh Hefner will have some kind of comment on the appropriateness of any woman’s Halloween costume.
- Finding a Spot in the Library
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If the HUB was too loud and scary, you might instead go to the library. Which, according to Google, is approximately 382,000 feet. There should be plenty of seats, right?
In reality, you’ll spend more time walking around the library looking for an open spot than time spent actually studying. Once you do find a spot, it is likely that the people next to you are, in fact, not there to study, but rather to talk at an inappropriate volume for the library. That’s when it becomes evident why that was the only spot open.
My piece of advice for library-goers: If you are on the higher levels, where it is supposed to be the quietest, please refrain from bringing your best friend and talking at maximum volume.
- Running Into The One Person You Are Trying To Avoid
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One would think that on a campus with nearly 50,000 students, the likelihood of seeing the one person you’re trying to avoid is slim to none. I mean, that’s one out of 50,000 chances, right? Wrong.
Because somehow, even at a school this size, every day it is proven to me just how small this world is. It’s always the days when you don’t feel like getting ready that you seem to run into every person you know. The worst of all is your ex.
But even if it’s not, it will be someone from your high school, maybe a girl you had a falling out with, or maybe it’s the random person who saw you at your worst last weekend. Big campus or not, never underestimate your chances of running into the person you least expect to.
- Trying to Get Into a Frat Party
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“Name 5 brothers” and “Do you have a text?” are the two most common phrases you’ll hear on a night out in State College. A fraternity that gets all its street credit from girls attending parties will make you line up TSA-style, flip through your phone and pull up a QR code just to be let in.
The increase in my anxiety levels that I feel walking up the footpath of a frat house is similar to how I’d feel as the subject of an FBI investigation. I didn’t do anything wrong, but they’re going to grill me regardless.
It’s funny how, despite being decently known as a “party school,” it can be quite difficult to actually attend parties here sometimes.
- The Line For Some Late Night Grub
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Many towns have food places closed by 8 p.m., and if not, then their line is empty past midnight. Not at Penn State.
The food spots here thrive at 2:30 a.m. on a weekend. Whether its Raising Cane’s, El Jefe’s or Yallah Taco, be prepared to camp out in a 20-minute line and wait 45 minutes for your food to be ready.
It’s not just the wait that’s scary; it’s the things you experience while standing in the line. People trying to cut in front of you. Customers yelling at the workers. And workers yelling back at the customers. It’s honestly great entertainment to hold you over while you wait hungrily.
A good hour after you’ve stepped into the restaurant, you’ll finally get your food. And it’ll be worth it every single time.
- Getting Trampled by a Tour Group
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The increase in my heart rate when I hear a stampede of aspiring Penn Staters on a tour coming up behind me is similar to that of the main character of a horror movie. I feel like the “Halloween Theme” song that plays when Michael Myers is approaching his victims should be playing.
Of course, I love that people want to come to this school; it is the best. But I have to say, the massive tour groups taking up the entire sidewalk, staring at me like I’m a zoo animal, are quite scary. The worst is on a Friday before a home game; that’s when our campus gets taken over. It’s like the actual students are outnumbered.
- The Pollock Testing Center
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The closest thing to a zombie apocalypse that I have ever experienced is watching the crowd of students line up for their test at the Pollock Testing Center.
Every Penn Student probably has or will take a test here. Similar to the horrors of getting into a frat party, the regulations at Pollock Testing Center are reminiscent of airport security. You need to get there 30 minutes before your test, empty your belongings and walk through a turnstile just to take an exam.
You receive an assigned desk pod and can’t even think about looking at the people around you. In terms of test security, this place is bulletproof. However, anyone who has set foot in the Pollock Testing Center knows that the light will immediately get drained from your eyes. I have never seen as many miserable faces or felt as much impending doom as when I have taken an exam there.
Instead of having a Halloween haunted house, maybe we should all just visit the Pollock Testing Center!
- Trying to Find Your Friend’s Tailgate
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The best day of any given week for a Penn State student is game day, but the rigorous journey through the parking lots gives me goosebumps just thinking about it. With over 24 tailgating lots surrounding Beaver Stadium, finding a friend’s little fraction of that is not easy.
First of all, depending on where you are walking from, it probably already took you a considerable amount of time to walk over to the stadium as it is. You dressed cute because it’s game day, but after speed-walking for 40 minutes straight, you start to question your choice of wearing $20 Amazon boots.
Each of your friends has the map pulled up with your intended tailgate circled. You’ve had to turn around, reroute and ask a stranger about the lot you’re looking for about 100 times. You’re calling your friend, but the service is so bad that the call isn’t going through. You’re looking for any flag above their tailgate to identify their location.
But finally, after a good 50 minutes and 15,000 steps, you found the tailgate. And the rest is history. The long trek through the Penn State tailgating scene was worth all the fun you’ll end up having that day.
- The Weather
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At 9:30 a.m., I need a parka jacket and four layers of clothing to combat the freezing Pennsylvania weather. By noon, my shirt has sweat stains, and I’m fanning my face after a random 50-degree jump.
Every day is a gamble when it comes to picking out an outfit. It could be 25 degrees in the morning, so I’ll rightfully put on a sweat set. Five hours later, I discover the true meaning of “sweat” in “sweatshirt.”
The weather here is so inconsistent– that is, until winter officially comes and the temperature is consistently in the negatives for four months straight.
Don’t get me wrong, I love having seasons. Fall here is absolutely beautiful. Even winter, despite the Arctic feel, has its perks. It’s just tough when the temperature travels up and down more frequently than an elevator.
And it doesn’t help that after walking in what feels like the tundra, you’ll walk into a building that has the heat on 80 degrees. That just can’t be good for us.
- Sundays
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Simply put, Sunday itself is one of the most horrific things on this list.
Imagine you had a fun weekend, went out either Friday or Saturday, maybe even both. You wake up at noon on Sunday to see that you texted your lab group chat, have 34 missed calls and are blocked by the guy you are talking to.
Not to mention, three different people have replied to an Instagram story you unknowingly posted, asking, “Did you mean to post this?” And the answer is no; you had no idea you posted that.
The “Sunday Scaries” are an unfortunate, but ever so real phenomenon. Even if you didn’t go out and ruin your life the night before, there is most likely still something giving you just as much stress as hangxiety would.
Maybe it’s the assignments you’ve been putting off all week, or the test you have tomorrow that you still haven’t studied for. Hangover or not, the so-called “day of rest” always causes us to be compensating for something. It might actually be the least restful day of my week, considering I have to reset my entire life, clean my apartment, refill my bare food cabinets and make up for all the work I’ve been procrastinating.
- The Dating Scene
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The number one scariest part about Penn State, which should be no surprise to anyone who goes here, is the terrifying dating scene. When girls come to college, they usually expect some kind of movie-like meet-cute. They envision that a guy will approach them in the library, ask, “is this seat taken?” and then you can ride off into the sunset together.
If by “library” you mean frat party, and by “is this seat taken” you mean “you got a man?”, and by “ride off into the sunset together” you mean asks for your Snapchat, then forgets your name, then maybe you’re onto something.
Seriously, I know there are obviously some beautiful love stories that have come from Penn State, but they seem to be pretty few and far between. The most romantic thing a guy I’ve met here has done for me is say “my bad” after spilling their drink on me.
Halloween might come and go, but these spooky experiences will last year-round. Stay away from the horrors if you’re lucky.