I don’t hate you. You may have confused me, frustrated me and saddened me. But, I don’t hate you. I never thought that this is what was going to become of me and you. I thought we could have been something.
All of my friends told me I was way better than you, but I felt the opposite. I didn’t care what they said. There was something about you. In my eyes, you were such a good guy. A diamond in all the rust. I thought I finally met someone worth it.
However, I was wrong. Wrong about you, wrong about us. The guy who I considered one of my best friends, who knew everything about me, hurt me.
In the beginning, I was drawn to you and only you. I didn’t even look at anybody else. I didn’t care. No one was you.
You told me I was beautiful. You acted as if you cared about me. You gave me so much attention. You made me feel like a princess.
All of the conversations we had and the time we spent together not only went to my head, but they went to my heart. You became the only one I could think about. I didn’t plan on catching feelings that fast, but I couldn’t help it.
But, while I was busy catching feelings for you, you were busy with other girls. Girls that weren’t me.
Your friends would ask me where you were. They all knew exactly who I was. Were they in on this game too? Or was I the only one dumb enough to be that stupid to fall for it?
I was so excited about the thought of finally meeting someone that was more than just a college hook-up. What we had together, I thought, was becoming something. I trusted you and you trusted me.
You would flirt with me and get jealous if I talked to someone else. But, if I did, you would come over to immediately put it to a stop. You constantly talked to me, through snapchat and in person. You didn’t leave my side in public. You made a point to know me.
Why did you try?
I would have given you everything. You were my everything. What was I to you, another one of your “side hoes” to add to your roster?
I felt like our ending was all my fault. Like I was the reason that we weren’t together. I wondered if I did something or said something to steer you away. Eventually, I realized that I was just the dumb one. I was the one making excuses for your poor actions. You were obviously not a good guy. I just was too oblivious to notice.
Eventually, I was able to reach my breaking point. I knew it needed to be over. I was waiting for you to come over, like usual. You kept pushing the time back, like usual.
However, this time, I was done waiting. I shouldn’t have had to wait hours for you to come over while you were probably busy with some other girl. That’s why you weren’t coming, time and time again.
I was tired of being wrapped around your finger. I was tired of only wanting you but you wanting everybody else. I knew it was time to let go and move on from you. I knew we were never going to become anything.
You messed with my head and my heart. You played me. And I let you. But no more. You weren’t ready for me.
I remember wanting to take it all back immediately after. I remember wanting to go back. But, I now know it was for the best. You said you were “confused” and “surprised” to hear this from me. This was me beating you at your own game.
You caused me heartache. You caused my tears. But, that’s okay. It was time for me to move forward, without you.
So, to the person that played me,
Thank you,
The girl who you didn’t deserve.