It’s safe to say nothing could’ve prepared me for what dating looks like in college. It’s an emotional rollercoaster that is not for the weak. Here’s how I’ve navigated dating so far in college as a relationship girl.
I am, without a doubt, a self-proclaimed relationship girl. I was in a long-term serious relationship throughout high school, so coming to college single was not quite what I was expecting. How naive my freshman self was for thinking men in college would want a serious relationship.
As a relationship girl, I was not familiar with what casual dating looked like. Being with one person from the age of 15 to 18 completely shaped my idea of dating as high commitment and stable. College has quickly warped this initial idea of mine, but it still holds true in many aspects.
I tried casual dating and hanging out with different people with no labels or any sort of commitment, because it’s the environment around me as a college girl. It is so normalized that I thought I would be able to do it too. Oh, how I was wrong.
The truth is, casual dating is tricky.
One day, you are raving about how great a guy is to all your friends and how you could really see it going somewhere. The next day, he’s gone and you never speak to him again. As a girl who knows nothing but serious relationships, how am I able to wrap my brain around this?
I’ve found myself countless times letting the actions of low-commitment men completely deter me from dating. Guys who are simply not in the headspace for a serious relationship have made me question myself again and again since being in college. I’d constantly question what I did for them to not want me in the slightest.
And after my unsuccessful attempts at dating in college, I’ve reached the consensus that it is not me, but the culture of dating in college. So many have the idea that in college, you are meant to date around, hook up with people and not get into anything serious.
And for many, casual dating is great. They love it and are able to thrive in that kind of headspace, and more power to you for it. But, as a relationship girl, it’s hard to fit into this stereotype of what dating in college is.
Through my attempts at dating in college as a relationship girl, I’ve learned it’s important to stick to the values you hold in a relationship and not conform to the environment around you. And it’s incredibly important that, as someone who values high-commitment relationships, you don’t let this impact your idea of yourself or diminish your idea of what dating looks like for you.
With all this being said, I am a firsthand witness to successful and thriving college relationships, and to be honest, I envy you. This is just my personal experience with what dating in college has been like in my two years here.
It’s always important to try new things, but also realize that what you value and treasure in dating is completely valid, even if it doesn’t fit the expectations of what dating in college “should” look like. It will all work out one day for us, relationship girls. And until then, learn to cherish being single!