Taking the time to really appreciate the people who make your life better is an activity that is generally overlooked or forgotten. As we get closer to Thanksgiving, however, I wanted to write an open letter of appreciation to a dear friend of mine who has done so much to inspire me to become the person I am today. That friend is Ivete.
I first met Ivete, or as we lovingly call her, Iva, when I studied abroad in Brazil in the summer of 2024. I distinctly remember arriving in Brazil for my first study abroad experience – confused, sleep-deprived and stressed.
The cherry on top? I had to go directly to the hospital from the airport, since the friend I traveled with got injured. After waiting in the foreign and empty hospital lobby for what felt like hours, I was finally able to go to the apartment where I would be spending the next two months.
As you can expect, I showed up at the apartment a mess. I had not eaten a real meal since the day before; I was tired and disgusting; I had not showered, changed clothes or brushed my teeth in over 24 hours – the list goes on.
Despite feeling confused and alone, Iva, and my other roommate, Emily, brought so much light into my life that day. They both greeted me with the biggest smiles and the most kind words, becoming the friendly faces I so desperately needed in that time of uncertainty.
During my program, the two of them, along with many others, helped me to come out of my shell and explore Brazil and my new surroundings. Although I had such a fantastic time and learned so much, when I left my program, I never expected to see them again.
Cue my next study abroad experience: spending the fall semester in Spain.
Just a few weeks into my program there, I saw a photo on Instagram of Iva in France. Utterly shocked, I decided to reach out to her and ask her what she was doing there. Turns out, she was working as an au pair and had decided to move from Brazil to France.
When I learned this, it felt like everything in my life was aligning. Who knew that this girl who I became so close with while in Brazil, who I thought I would never see again, would end up on the same continent as me at the same time?
So, I decided to seize this opportunity and meet her in France, and later in Portugal. This is where I learned so much more about her life, aspirations, friends, goals, relationships and so much more. I got to know the “person behind the roommate” that I had met that summer.
Our worlds did not collide again until this past summer, about a year after we met, when Iva came to the United States for the first time to visit her boyfriend. She had to change her flight home last-minute, meaning that her layover before leaving for Europe just happened to be in Boston, which is very close to where I live.
I happened to already be planning to go to the city that day, so naturally, we decided to meet. That was the first time I finally got to play tour guide and show Iva around the city where I grew up.
The reason I am writing this, however, is not to share the story of our entire friendship – it’s to share exactly how Iva has made my life better just by being in it.
Firstly, although we are long-distance friends, she has always put in such an effort to keep our relationship strong. We message each other and send voice memos frequently, and we always find time to call despite the six hour time difference.
Iva is also one of the most intelligent people I know. She has so much worldly experience – from studying other cultures and learning new languages to trying new things and always being open to having deep conversations.
She always encourages me to keep pursuing my passions, and reminds me of the many paths your life can take. After all, she left her full-time job in Brazil to work as an au pair in France, and is now applying to masters programs at European universities.
Iva recognizes the talents that I have and makes sure that I am aware of them. Her compliments go beyond the usual “your hair is so pretty,” or “I love your shoes” – she knows how to know people.
For example, Iva, a native Portuguese speaker, has complimented me so many times on my ability to speak and use her language, and with languages in general. Her support is one of the main reasons I have thought about learning yet another, and also why I am continuing to look for ways to incorporate this passion into my future career.
Finally, Iva always reminds me to stand up for myself, and to never settle. She has met countless friends of mine, and even a guy I was going out with, and has given me her ruthless, yet helpful, conclusions each time. She is great at reading people and situations, and even knows how I feel before I do.
Iva helps me to see the things that I don’t – whether it be the red flags I miss or the need for something I don’t have. She makes sure I feel confident in myself and face the world head on, while not settling for any man who won’t treat me like a queen.
Because of Iva, I have grown to be more kind, confident, independent, knowledgeable, empathetic and so much more. I have become a person who is not afraid to pursue new things and follow my passions. I’ve lost my fear of failure in the pursuit of a life I enjoy.
My advice? Find a friend like Iva.
I’m eternally grateful for how she has helped me to become the woman I am today. No matter whether it is teaching me more Brazilian slang, correcting my Portuguese, reflecting on life, or listening to 45 minutes worth of voice memos, she has always been there to support me.
I just hope that I can call her my friend for many more years to come.
(Author’s note: the names of the people mentioned in this article were changed to preserve anonymity)