We all know that New Year’s resolutions are a big cultural norm. We wait until the end of the year, sit down to inspect ourselves and our year to figure out where we think we went wrong — then we decide how we’re going to be better. Next, we probably wait a few weeks, and most of the time, give up.
It’s a huge cultural tradition to make goals, have no plan on how to go through with them, and chuckle when you realize you’ve given up. Often we set unobtainable goals with unsustainable plans. I had to do this as an assignment in elementary school — we were told to write out our resolutions and then, shockingly, we never discussed them again.
That elementary school assignment led me making New Year’s resolutions most years, and it’s only recently that I realized how toxic my relationship was with these unrealistic goals.
I’m a numbers person, so my resolutions revolved around numbers. I wanted to be able to track myself. Some years it was how many books I would read (which led to major stress when I did not think I would hit my goal), exercising seven days a week (no one will tell you this is a good idea), or even the amount of calories I would eat daily. I did not achieve any of these resolutions, and felt like a failure when I looked back on my year. I was also so absorbed with my goals that I forgot about living and having fun — I couldn’t remember a favorite part of my year, which was horrible.
For the past three years, I haven’t made any New Year’s resolutions. Instead, I’ve been working towards the ever-changing goal of being happier. It can mean so much and so little depending on what phase of my life I’m currently in.
Last year at this time, it was working towards picking a college that would make me happy. I’m glad to say I have definitely achieved that goal. Currently, my goal is slowing down and relaxing before the spring semester. I’m the kind of person that thrives from being busy, and tends to neglect self-care, so I’m slowly trying to adjust and work on that. Happiness has been the best thing for me to reach for because there is no quantitative measurement for it.
As long as I wake up and am excited most days, I’m not failing.
With the New Year coming up, you’re going to be bombarded with ads for gym memberships and diet plans and everything in that realm. In case no one has told you, you’re great just the way you are. You shouldn’t feel pressured to change yourself just because the date has changed.
Just because New Year’s resolutions are a cultural norm in our society doesn’t mean you’re obligated to participate. You’re allowed to be happy with who you are, and if you aren’t, you’re allowed to change whenever you want — you don’t have to wait for a calendar page to flip to live the life you want to.
You’re in control of your life, and deserve to do what’s best for you, no matter what societal norms try to push on you.