I am not at my best right now at this current moment, and I am completely okay with admitting it. I hate complaining, and I’m not complaining, but expounding on why I’m not feeling so hot right now. I haven’t been sleeping well at all, and I probably only got 5 hours of sleep last night. I’ve had a long, busy day with hardly enough caffeine. My low today was during my solo drive to David’s Bridal for a bridesmaid dress fitting when I cried by myself in the car while listening to Adele (yes I realize how cliché crying to Adele is; yes it felt great; no there was honestly no single reason in particular why I was crying but rather a multitude of small reasons that piled up).
I, Nicole Keller, am a human being with a wide range of emotions. We all are! People! We are people! Boys and girls and everything in between! Evolutionarily speaking, we are programmed to feel a wide range of emotions. Regulating them is the frustrating part, and you cannot be 100% all of the time. And that’s fine. While I am still rather tired after a long football Saturday yesterday and pretty stressed about the pile of things I have to do, my sad spell that happened this afternoon is a lot better. The way I think is this: I had an absolutely blissful day yesterday, and if we didn’t experience any lows, then we wouldn’t be able to fully appreciate highs like that of a Penn State win, surrounded by my friends who I love so very much. I know I come off as a pretty happy and energetic person, so when I’m not feeling fabulous, people definitely notice. I am so pleased that I have been able to accept that I will never be “on” all the time and that I’m really not letting anyone down, including myself, by feeling what I need to feel.
That being said, though, mental health is no joke and people’s emotions are not simply paint that is splashed around on a canvas in the way that I somewhat optimistically perceive them as. Outside intervention is so often necessary, whatever it may be. Whatever the case may be, whatever you are going through, it is okay. It is okay if you need help, or if you’re having a bad day, or if you think you’re going a little insane. We have all been there.
For one of my current classes, our client is “The Campaign to Change Direction,” an initiative created after the Sandy Hook tragedy. The campaign’s main purpose is to eliminate the stigma that comes with talking about mental health. Research proves that when we are expressive and empathetic, we are happier and healthier. We need to accept that we are a society made of up people going through a variety of things — many of those things we don’t have the capability to understand. While privacy is sacred, it is important to release when you feel the need to release. You have the power to regulate because who says you don’t?
So here’s my advice: if you are having a bad day, wallow in it. Eat that whole tub of ice cream, listen to Lana del Rey in the bathtub and just soak there like a prune for three hours. Put off whatever you don’t have the right energy for until tomorrow. It will still be there tomorrow, I promise.