You’ve been broken up for months – it’s time to move on.
I’m not being harsh – just hear me out! Like many of you reading this, I’ve too gone through a recently “rough” breakup. To make a long story short, it was mutual and very civil, but that didn’t matter to me. What mattered was that it was over. I kept asking myself, “How could it be over?” I was devastated. If I’m being honest, it probably wasn’t hitting him the same way, but for me the pain was too much. It became distracting, distracting me from school, from my friends, and from living my life. I needed to cut the bullsh*t and move on.
Sure, we can tell ourselves we don’t need them. We focus on our friends, take a bubble bath, or maybe even hook up with someone new, but spoiler alert – we’re all just emotional human beings! We can’t help our feelings; we feel what we feel. And that’s okay – just please, don’t hold on to it. The pain isn’t permanent, and the only reason it seems like it is, is because we’re letting it be that way. Spending time constantly thinking about what could have been, or where things went wrong, is holding you back. Crying when you’re out with your friends is simply unacceptable; you’re out with your friends – have fun! I’m not saying this is easy – I want to make that very clear. I, for one, should have been over this breakup as soon as it happened. But that’s the funny thing – we’re all expecting that each real relationship we have has to be this amazing fairytale, and when it fails, it’s truly heartbreaking.
Instead of blaming yourself, realize that life still goes on. You can’t keep lingering and talking about where things went wrong. You’re friends absolutely don’t want to hear it any more – they’re happy it’s over and they’re happy for you! Your ex clearly wasn’t the right person for you – your friends see it, so now it’s time for you to see it too! I know the pain is troubling. If you knew me, you’d think I’m the biggest hypocrite for writing this now, but I’m growing up. I can’t be obsessed with this pain that I’m causing myself.
As I see it, everything happens for a reason. Although it may seem slightly silly, look at your ex as someone who came into your life solely to make you a better person. If they were selfish, you learned to be giving. If they were arrogant, you learned to stay modest. If they were “perfect,” you learned mistakes happen and someone will still love you and your mistakes. Hopefully, this will help you see that all your relationships were meant to happen, and even if you ended up hurt or it ended badly, you had amazing times.
For the boy who taught me to grow up, I suppose I owe you a thank you. You made me feel like sh*t the past two months, as I lingered over the chance to fix things, but now I know that it’s over. I also know to never let a breakup hit me this hard again. It’s simply not worth it. You are not worth it.