“I thought I was the only one,” a friend sobbed to me in the basement of a frat house after I told her that I, too, had been sexually assaulted. Months after her assault, she still felt isolated and alone because she hadn’t had the proper support. So many girls blame themselves for what happened to them, or just choose not to talk about it because they don’t feel comfortable or think they’ll be judged. I want to take this time to say that what happened is NOT your fault, and that your friends do want to help you.
Unfortunately, over 11% of college students will be victims of sexual assault — though this number has fallen significantly over the years (RAINN). Many of these assaults go unreported (NSVRC). Victims often fear backlash from their community and keep quiet about what was done to them. It is likely that you know several people who have gone through some sort of sexual assault, so please don’t ever feel like you have to deal with this alone. There are plenty of people who will want to help you process what happened and get to the mental place you need to be, even if you don’t want to take legal action.
The first step is to confide in friends that you trust. This can take a lot of the pressure off of you, and they can help you choose your next steps while giving you emotional support.
Next, you should decide if you want to report to the police or the university. You do not have to report to both, and they will each respond differently. This can be a very difficult and personal choice, and neither choice is wrong. Only you can decide what is right for you.
Finally, therapy can be crucial for healing post-assault. Everyone has different emotional responses, and a therapist can help you sort through your emotions to figure out how to help you cope. If you cannot find or afford a therapist, you should visit the psychological services on campus, and they can help you in the short-term and help you set up a long-term option.
Everyone is different, but after a traumatic event it is most important to take care of yourself. Make sure that you are treating yourself with love and not blaming yourself for what happened. You will be okay.
Love,
Her Campus at PSU