I am on day three of my break-up.
Out of each love I’ve had throughout my young life, this one was by far my favorite. She taught me how special it is to be loved by a woman.
That’s the thing about the loves that come and go throughout our lives – although they may be temporary, we experience them to learn.
No love is the same, no love is comparable.
Letting go of different loves takes different approaches, and there is a difference between letting go and suffering. They are opposites actually; the reason a break-up is initially so painful is because you are feeling every emotion. You reminisce of the good, you ache at the bad, and the ending replays in your mind every time you breathe.
In the beginning, you are supposed to suffer. If you do not allow yourself to feel everything, those feelings will lay dormant until your emotions eventually lead to a breakdown. For the past few days, I’ve lied in my bed, thought about everything that came to the surface, and let my emotions out. Now it’s day three, and it’s the first day I have not woken up crying.
I’ve begged for my love back, begged to give it away – but I deserve it all for myself. I deserve the love I’ve been giving into the world.
I cannot keep collecting petals, giving someone the world one flower at a time, until they understand how to maintain a garden.
To let go of love, you have to acknowledge what you deserve. Then, you have to acknowledge what the person you’re letting go of needs. You don’t have to understand it in your core, but you need to acknowledge it.
However, there is one more secret to letting go of love…
This is the hardest part. The most agonizingly painful, heart-ripped-from-your-chest, suffocating task – but only at first.
Each day, close your eyes and picture your partner. You give them a hug and you say to them, “thank you for everything you taught me about myself.”
Then, imagine them walking away until they slowly disappear.
I’ve done this everyday, and it is also the last thing I said to her. Each day, it becomes easier to do. Someday it won’t make me shed a tear.
You cannot make predictions. The future is uncertain, and you have to consider that maybe there is a reason things did not work out. It could mean there is someone else waiting for you, or that they need to find themselves. It could mean you found each other at an unfortunate time, but a better timing could exist later in life. You cannot make predictions.
Love is an amazing experience, and you cannot go through life afraid of heartbreak. If you live your life in fear, you are going to miss out on the experiences that shape you.
Accept the heartbreak; feel all of it. Eventually, you will be able to move on. I promise you, I am right there with you. It will get better, and if you need one more method to let go of love, you could always write an article about it.
You deserve blissful, safe, passionate love that prioritizes you, chooses you and waits for you.
Take care.