The holiday season is upon us!
For many this means festivities, time with family and friends, traditions, parties and LED lights anywhere and everywhere. For many others, however, the holidays can bring about a whirlwind of emotions.
While we are repeatedly reminded that it is the most wonderful time of the year, the holidays can be exceptionally tough. If you’re feeling holiday anxiety starting to set in, I’m here to tell you that is completely okay. We are expected to enthusiastically celebrate with family, food and gift-giving, and all three of these things simply do not come as easily to some as they do to others.
It can feel isolating to be bombarded with expectations you feel you cannot live up to.
The image of the holidays that we see time and time again, whether it be in films or the lyrics of classic holiday songs, typically involves families spending quality time together and expressing their love for one another. It goes without saying that not everyone has this type of family dynamic and relationships are often quite complicated. It’s around this time of year as well that the loss of a family member or friend may be felt a little extra.
The expectation to partake in and enjoy various types of holiday food in the presence of others is also a significant stressor. Having a difficult relationship with food makes gatherings incredibly anxiety-inducing. Feeling as though you’re being judged for what you eat or don’t eat, having to put up with unwanted food or weight-related comments from family members, and the dreaded weight loss ads that hit TVs across the country the second New Year’s is over are all quite nauseating.
These challenges paired with the pressure to be having a good time is suffocating. The truth is that pumpkin pie, mistletoe and a rousing chorus of “Jingle Bells” won’t always remove that weight from your shoulders.
There is no “right” way to celebrate (or not celebrate) this time of year, and we all experience it differently. Sometimes holidays can feel hard for reasons you can’t seem to put your finger on, which I’d argue is a completely natural experience when there’s so much anticipation and expectation of joy surrounding something.
Whether you find that the holidays bring about feelings of happiness, anxiety, nostalgia or sadness, you are entitled to acknowledge your feelings and take any action you need to take to process them and move forward.
The fact that the holiday season has rolled back around does not negate the difficulties you experience in your day-to-day life, and you should not expect yourself to pretend that it does. While this season incites joy in many, it’s not that simple for others and that is completely okay.
Ignoring the way you are for the sake of the season or those around you is wholly unnecessary. I can’t tell you what holidays are supposed to look like, but I can say with full confidence that they are not supposed to look like faking happiness for a month and a half.
Your emotions are just as valid on December 25th as they are on any other day of the year.