Is anybody ever truly ready for a relationship? The answer is yes… and no. Essentially, none of us are ever really ready for a relationship. Yes, we can be ready to have someone to hold at night, to go on dates with, to kiss and hug and love; but we can never really be ready for that person to walk into our lives. When that person comes, it’s always out of nowhere. We never wake up and know “today is the day I’ll meet the love of my life”, because that’s impossible. Nobody expects to meet their person when they come, but it’s not about being ready; it’s about becoming ready because that person is worth it. However, sometimes the person we’re ready to be with isn’t necessarily ready to be with us, so here are four things to always keep in mind:
1. Don’t fool yourself. If he wanted to be with you, he would.
There’s an old saying: “If it’s important to you, you’ll make it work. If it’s not, you’ll make excuses.” Everyone has a hierarchy in their life in order to find some kind of balance. Work, friends, schoolwork, family – all these factors are placed in a specific order and prioritized in a certain way. When you meet someone that you want to be with, though, you change this order. This isn’t saying he should quit focusing on work or ditch his friends for you, because that isn’t healthy either. However, if he wants you in his life, you’ll be put there. There won’t be any excuses because he knows the alternative is losing you. If he says he’s “too busy” or “doesn’t have time for a relationship,” it just means that you’re not worth it for him to make the time and change his mind.
2. He wants the perks without the commitment.
If he’s spending his free time with you, texting you every day, making you feel special, and being sexually active with you – but he won’t commit, run. Why would a guy want the perks of a relationship without the label? It’s easy; he can have all of you, get all of the benefits and still go do his own thing. He can talk to other girls, disappear when he wants and treat you however he wants because you aren’t “actually dating.” If you were the girl he wanted, the label would be an easy addition to these behaviors, but you aren’t and now he gets you without having to commit to you.
3. Men are natural hunters; he should chase you.
Men are natural hunters, so when they find someone they want, they’ll do anything to get her. If he doesn’t get jealous about you being with other guys, doesn’t try to be romantic, and generally doesn’t care about you or your life, it’s because he has no intention of ever dating you and making you his. A man who’s ready for you will do anything to make you want him back and will do anything to make you his and his alone. If he’s only giving you part of him and breadcrumbs, then he’s doing just enough to keep you without ever actually getting to the point of completely having you.
4. Him not being ready for a relationship doesn’t mean it’s your job to change his mind.
You might have feelings for him, but don’t waste your time on someone that’ll never treat you the way you deserve. You should never be sure of someone that isn’t sure about you, and you should never put all your energy into trying to change his mind. The very essential fact that he doesn’t want you should be enough to make you not want him. It’s hard and it hurts, but there’s someone out there that’ll make you a priority and give you the commitment you need. He’s just not ready for a relationship with you, so show him how ready you are to walk away and find someone better.
At the end of the day, you should never make someone a priority who only makes you a choice!