Hayride: As Told By A Typical College Girl

1. Okay, so out of my 16 flannels that I own, which one will complement the cute scarf I just bought at Urban?  I spent $45 on it, and there’s no way in hell I’m not wearing it.

2. Pre-gaming on a Wednesday at 5:30 P.M. is totally normal…not.

3. Ugh, someone just put on Luke Bryan…can’t he be my date instead? His butt though… Like, come on.

4. Cue the buzzed renditions of “Wagon Wheel” as I force my date to take pics in 5 different poses because I need to be on my good side and in good lighting ‘cause this needs to be insta-worthy, obvi.

5. Bus leaves in 10 minutes…where are all my belongings that I suddenly can’t find ANYWHERE?

6. Yup, still hate school buses.

7. This ride is hitting the 30-minute mark. Please someone get me off this thing.

8. We’re here! In the middle of nowhere! In a forest! It’s 30 degrees! Yay!

9. WAIT, THEY HAVE HOTDOGS?!

10. Let’s all go sit by the fire, and try not to get hypothermia.

11. I think this band has played the same song five times. I don’t know why I continue to dance around, but I think I look cute doing it so…?

12. No one’s going to see me as I go get another hot dog, will they?

13. Can’t. Feel. My. Toes. I’m. Cold. Let’s. Complain. Because.

14. I’m just going to go to the woods because I am NOT about waiting in this line for Porta-Potties. 

15. …That leaf just moved. Oh my god, it’s probably a bear. I’m going to die. No one’s going to hear me. I’m donezo. Goodbye world…

16. Wait, where did my date go?

17. Okay everyone, group pics! Fake laughs! OMG, so candid.

18. Ugh no, not another bus again. No, no, no… Can I hitchhike home?

19. Is Gumby’s still open? Who wants pokeys? Just kidding, getting an XL all to myself #sorrynotsorry.

20. My bed…where art thou?

• college
• fall
• hayride
• november
• Penn State