The dreaded fear of missing out.
When we’re on campus, doom scrolling instead of accomplishing actual work, we start to feel like we are missing out and comparing ourselves to other students who seem to “have it better.” It becomes a constant thought in the back of our minds, and this fear of missing out can eat us alive.
Jealousy arises, feelings are hurt and thoughts race. From someone who used to let the fear of missing out run their life, I want to say a few words on how to battle this feeling and some steps you can take to escape this mindset.
You are not the problem. FOMO is such a common experience that everyone goes through, yet not many people talk about it. I know, for myself, that I experience it, and it is miserable. It sucks to be jealous and insecure about what others are doing, and it can really affect how we see ourselves.
To counter this negative concept, we need first to discuss a new perspective. My anxious girlies, when we scroll online or compare ourselves to others, we think we are truly missing out on what they are doing. That is not the reality.
You need to start asking yourself: would I still want this life, even if no one ever saw it? If the answer is no, you are not living. It is purely performative.
By living a performative life for others, you become overly concerned with what others think of you and end up not doing what you genuinely want with your life. If you want to go out, that’s great. If you want to stay in, that is also an excellent option. Once you start adapting, you need to do things for yourself, not for anyone else, and the idea of missing out fades away.
The other side of FOMO comes from seeing what others are doing on social media. Sometimes we might not get an invite or see something really cool that others are doing. My go-to strategy to push back against these negative thoughts is to focus on performance and how it makes me feel.
The grass is not always greener on the other side; people want to show off the best parts of their life, and we are not seeing what they are actually feeling. Yes, we see ourselves staying in or not getting invited, but we do not know when that happens to someone else. When you post for yourself, they cannot possibly know what is going on behind your own scenes, and neither should you for them.
Yes, this is all easier said than done, but with anything in life, practice makes perfect. There are times I have definitely struggled with my internal FOMO, even after developing the mindset I’ve gotten surrounding it.
Growth is not a linear process; there will be ups and downs, but after a while, you start to shift from thinking you are missing out to loving your life the way you want to live it, and not by anyone else’s judgement.