A Definitive Ranking Of Jersey Shore’s Minor Characters

Ah, the Jersey Shore years. What an interesting time. While we usually think of the show with its eight main cast members, there were a lot of other people that contributed to making it so hilarious. So, here’s our definitive ranking of Jersey Shore’s most prominent minor characters:

 

9. Angelina

Considering Angelina left the show twice, she earns the status of a minor character - and the lowest on the list, of course. Angelina was unlikeable from the moment she stepped foot in Seaside, and her decision to go home in both seasons one and two was welcomed by everyone, both in the house and in the audience. She does earn a spot on our list, though, because she made her mark and left us with some memorable quotes during her short-lived stint. Who can forget her comment during her first day at the Shore Store: “I feel like this job is beneath me. I’m a bartender. I do, like, you know, great things.”

  

8. Danielle “The Stalker”

Cue scary music. We all remember Danielle from season one (and a brief appearance in season three) for being Pauly D’s “stage five clinger.” She shows up with the “I Love Jewish Girls” T-shirt for Pauly, and won’t quit until he basically tells her (loudly and over the phone because we know she could get violent in person) that her excessive stalking is a no-go. The next time we see her is in Seaside one year later, when she throws a drink on Pauly, flips off the entire crew while leaving the club, and asks if he wants to get beat up by an Israeli chick - we get it Danielle, you’re angry. And we can’t help but love it.

 

7. Ryder

Ryder actually makes quite a few appearances throughout the show. Even though she was Snooki’s best friend, we have to put her lower on the list due to her sexcapade with Vinny. She still earns a spot for showing up in multiple seasons to party with Snooki and for being so similar to her (they literally communicate through grunting to each other), but we can’t move her up any higher since she put Snooks in that uncomfortable situation of a Vinny love triangle. She also loses points since the two aren’t even that close anymore. Sorry, Ryder.

 

6. Paula

Paula gets a decent ranking because, despite her memorable stumble, her confidence is enviable. Her claim to fame on the show was from falling down the stairs, yet when she reappears in season three, she wins Mike’s attention in the club and is back at the house before you know it. Even though the roommates’ main memory of her is that infamous fall, she hangs out with them during the night and they easily laugh at the past together. Also, who else gets away with wearing a pair of devil ears out to a club when it’s not Halloween or a themed night? We have to hand it to Paula for being super confident and chill...and therefore out of Mike’s league.

 

5. Danny

Poor Danny. You can’t help but feel bad for this guy. As the owner of the Shore Store, his business is in the hands of the eight Jersey Shore cast members, and he can barely get them to do anything whenever they’re on shift. Even though we hear him complaining nearly every time he’s on screen, he deserves a good spot on the list because without him, we wouldn’t have the shore house at all - and we all know it can’t really be Jersey Shore without the duck phone and hot tub. Plus, we have to give this guy credit for putting up with these guys year after year. You go, Danny.

 

4. Roger

Roger and Jenni always make us swoon, especially now with their two adorable kids and surprisingly domestic life. When we meet Roger, he picks Jenni up when she’s down about her breakup with Tom, and they turn out to be an adorable couple. We wouldn’t want JWoww with anyone who’s not a “gorilla guido juicehead,” and Roger fits the bill in every respect.

 

 3. Uncle Nino

Uncle Nino is an honorable Jersey Shore roommate. He’s basically the same as all of the boys in the house, just stuck in an older man’s body. While he did sometimes cross the line into being creepy, he never failed to make us laugh with his incoherent chatter and his insistence on referring to Mike as “The Sanitation.” We love you, Uncle Nino - keep partying it up with the roommates you missed by a couple years.

 

2. Vinny’s mom, Paula

Staying on track with Vinny’s family, we have to give credit to Paula, Vinny’s mom. She’s known for her amazing food and the equally amazing ability to cook for a family with so many people in it that you lose count. We constantly see her feeding the boys when they visit in Staten Island, and she even makes a trip down to Seaside with her trunk full of food for Sunday dinner. Each time we see her and the meal she whips up, we’re tempted to walk through the TV and sit down at the table.

  

1. JWoww’s dogs, Bella and Noel

Obviously, these cuties earn the number one spot. We’ve always known that JWoww had two precious puppies at home, but after the big breakup with Tom and him subsequently leaving the dogs to fend for themselves, Jenni and Snooki bring them to stay at the shore house. These two always make us smile, and honestly were probably in season three more than several other people in the house. Given the fact that they’re the cutest and most innocent things living in the shore house, they’ve earned first place fair and square.

 

Did your faves make the list?

 

 

 

Header image: New York Television Festival  / Flickr