Name: Dan Jacobs
Major: Crime, Law, and Justice
Hometown: Glenmoore, Pa., which is about 31 minutes / 25.44 miles Southeast of Taylor Swift’s hometown.
Meet Dan Jacobs, a freshman majoring in Crime, Law, and Justice. However, an introduction just won’t do him justice—by reading his answers below, you’ll be able to find out all you need to know about this sweet and funny freshman.
HC: If you could do any job in the world, what would you do?
Dan: I would love to be a search and rescue helicopter pilot, and try to help give people a second chance at life. Or, Taylor Swift’s agent!
HC: What is your ideal date?
Dan: I will be riding Notsophast, my thoroughbred Budweiser Clydesdale, when I see the prettiest sight in all the lands. A girl, with hair so long and brilliantly blonde and luscious, her mere beauty will knock me off of my saddle. But wait… I can only see her from the small window of a tall tower, lacking an entrance suitable to fit a prince of my 71 inch stature. Then, I will see this distastefully haggard lady, possibly the lass’s mother, calling her beautiful name as she lets said beautiful hair down, down, down to the ground, all 10.68 (THON reference!) million feet of it. Seeing how the lady used her hair as apparatus to climb into the tower, I will hide in the bushes until it is dark, then I will shout with joy as I ask my lady to do the same and let down her hair. She will do as I ask, and as I climb up her golden locks, I will see the stunning view of the terracing landscape. But not even the vistas I see will compare to the beauty of the damsel awaiting my arrival. Then, I will climb into the window, and we will feast on the food that I kept in my saddle pouch. Shortly after we dine, her mother will find us together, and cut her golden braids before banishing her to the desert. I will set back off on my stallion, and I will go to said desert in search of the love of my life. Our stars will align in the sky, I will find her, and we will live happily ever after.
But seriously, for starters, I would ask the girl of my dreams on the date of her dreams. I would spotlessly clean my Jeep—which can be rather difficult to do—take the top off it, and put the doors back on to keep my precious cargo safe. Then, I would leave my watch and cell phone at home, so we can get lost without worrying about the time or distractions from other people. Before picking her up at her house, I would be sure to get her flowers that complement the color of her beautiful eyes. We would go to lunch at a small “Ma and Pop” style deli, and we would share a hoagie. Then, we would get back in my Jeep and sing only Taylor Swift songs. I would take her to one of my favorite vistas and show her breathtaking views and waterfalls, but I would be sure to let her know that their beauty does not even come close to her beauty. As we would hike down toward a secluded lake, birds would sing and crickets would chirp. At the edge of the water, I would have a canoe tied that awaits our arrival. Inside the canoe, I would have a picnic basket filled with her favorite food. I would take her out onto the lake, and we would have dinner —only after blessing the food—as the sun sets over the water. Then, we would head back to the shoreline and star gaze. But then again, I would be willing to change any aspect in order to make it the date of her dreams.
HC: What is your favorite pick up line?
Dan: “Do you work for UPS?” “No… Why?” “Cause I saw you checking out my package!” (Wink for added effect)
HC: What do you like to do in your free time?
Dan: Play with my dogs, talk with my family, hang out with friends, hunt, fish, go four wheeling, sing some karaoke, save a damsel in distress and pray.
HC: Favorite Penn State Experience:
Dan: THON 2012. $10.686 billion dollars! I could have never ever dreamed of a better committee or a more amazing dancer. I absolutely loved being on the floor and playing with the kids, and helping them to be kids again for a few short hours.
Fun Facts about Dan:
1.) In 9th grade, I conceived this plan that I will run for president of the United States of America in 2036 and get some morals back in this beloved country that we call home.
2.) I have never seen the Wizard of Oz.
3.) I only watched 101 Dalmatians and 102 Dalmatians as a child
4.) I was Harry Potter for 4 Halloweens in a row… I am really creative.
5.) I’m single!