In the age of dating apps, my hopeless romantic self is struggling. Growing up, I read stories of those cosmic loves that sweep you off your feet. I soon realized that this was a tad bit unrealistic, but I was ill-prepared for the scary truths of modern dating.Â
So maybe expecting a man to write me a letter every day for a whole year, like in “The Notebook,” is just a bit of an unrealistic expectation. But still, I was hoping for a little more than the “you up?” texts I have received far too many times.Â
Today, online dating has become a convenient way of meeting different people. It does push you to meet people outside of your usual circle. But I can’t say my dream meet-cute was ever receiving a virtual rose or trying to come up with the perfect conversation starter to someone’s prompt.Â
The pressure of dating apps begins as soon as you register for an account, when you are faced with the challenge of creating a profile that strikes the perfect balance between flirty and cute, while also encapsulating your entire personality. It feels shallow from the start when I find myself hyper-fixating on every photo of myself, thinking way too hard about whether or not some virtual man will find me attractive.Â
Then comes the life sucking attempts of starting a conversation. I feel as though I have never had a single thought in my life as I stare at the prompts. Even when I am the one receiving a message, it always seems to be objectifying or the classic “hey” that I have no idea what to do with. It feels like dating apps are where chivalry went to die.Â
If all of that was not exhausting enough, dating apps seemed to have lit the flame under the already rampantly increasing hook-up culture. With access to so many singles, it is easy to fill your roster. It feels like a competition to see who is talking to the most people at once.Â
A part of me is jealous that men seem to be able to detach so easily because it is almost impossible for me (seriously, someone make me stop checking to see if he texted every two seconds). If you aren’t getting something from one person, all it takes is a few swipes to find it from someone else, making it easy to feel worthless.Â
Not only do I have to worry about if this person likes me, but now how many other people he is feeding the same lines to. I have to be thinking of ways to stay the most relevant, while maintaining a nonchalant demeanor so I don’t scare him.Â
It didn’t seem like there were this many rules in the books and movies. No leaving each other delivered for hours on end so you don’t seem desperate, no waiting to see if he watches your Insta story and definitely no ghosting.Â
But despite these flaws, the accessibility to people is exciting. Thinking about how there might be someone I would never cross paths with any other way is something my hopelessly romantic personality loves the idea of. Also, not everyone abides by the new casual style dating rules. Maybe all that stands between a true match is a few questionable swipes.