Often, we are told to disregard other people’s opinions about us. I’ve heard this phrase quite a lot:
“The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinion.”
What if it’s not the weight of another’s opinion, but your own? As I grew up, I realized that life is not the way I thought it would be. It is hard and lonely. It makes me feel like I am constantly on an edge of a precipice.
I felt tired every day. I did not want to come home to an empty apartment where there was no one to ask me how my day was. This wasn’t the end of it though; I realized I was exhausting myself doing things I never wanted to do but was doing them because they felt right.
Despite the constant emotional and physical wear and tear, I felt like I wasn’t enough.
I used to tell myself every morning that I have to do this because it is going to make me get a job or an internship. All I did was focus on the long-term planning, completely oblivious of the short-term goals. Goals of feeling happy or doing what I love because I wanted to and not because I had to.
It took me a long time to contemplate that there was something wrong. But one day, while talking to myself, a painful thought popped up in my head.
“Why am I not happy with myself?”
I found myself in this deep dark hole where the only voice I heard was the constant echo of self-criticism.I knew that I had to learn to be happy on my own. Self-love cannot be acquired overnight. It is a journey and not a destination that requires constant effort and assurance.
Loving yourself is like an art. It encompasses a diverse range of human emotions. Just like art, which is a relationship between the art and the artist, self-love is the relationship you share with yourself.
Self-love should be the number one priority on your list of goals. It is not about being selfish or greedy, but putting yourself first. Since a very young age, we are taught to be understanding and kind to others. Unfortunately, no one taught us to be the same towards ourselves.
We have mastered the art of putting others’ needs before our own, but that is not how life should be. Life is about loving yourself first and then making space for others to seek love from you.
Oscar Wilde beautifully stated,“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.”
Well, it indeed is. If you can’t love yourself, how can you expect others to love you? Your significance isn’t determined by what you achieve. It is you who determines who you are and what you deserve.
Forgive yourself for accepting less than you deserved, but don’t do it again.
At the end of the day, it’s just you and your thoughts. Be on your side because no one else is going to do that for you.