At the age of 21, I have not had much experience with love.
I am a junior in college and have not once been in a relationship. Should I be ashamed of this? I question this all the time. It is hard to not question myself after seeing so many people around me start dating from the age of 15.
The question that I need to be asking myself and that you need to be asking yourself is “are you ready to be in a relationship?” By asking yourself this question, you can consider if a relationship would improve who you are.
Am I lying to myself?
I have always said that I needed a relationship. I would wish every day that I can be like all the people who are around me that are 21. A relationship is now not everything to me.
A real relationship will come when you least expect it and at a point in your life when you think it is the most unnecessary. This is why I have decided it is time I stop looking for a man and focus completely on myself.
Have I really accepted myself first?
To be in a healthy relationship, I feel it is important to be the best possible version of yourself. If you are not the best possible version of yourself, you will create this version of yourself based on the man you are trying to date.
No partner should be the reason you decide to change yourself — I have been in this position before. By putting myself first, I have learned that it is okay. I am not in the right state of mind in my life to be in a healthy relationship. I would much rather be someone who is at the point of learning how to love myself before loving someone else and I think everyone should live by this rule.
Accepting my fate.
I have accepted the fact that everyone does not live the same story. It takes so much time to find your happy ending and even if you are not happy with your story right now just know that your happy ending will come sooner than you think. It is okay to have hope.
Hope is important to keep that spark of love alive in your heart. Without that hope, you will not be able to open your heart in the future to make those moments you always wanted in your life.
All the time in the world.
It is okay to wait. There is no timeline for finding any type of love. It is important to focus on yourself before focusing on the pressures of finding a relationship. Love will then have a way of finding you without you even knowing it.
I believe that everyone will find love in their lifetime. It does not matter when it comes but the thought of being able to feel the feeling of love is what makes life even better.