“I need some ‘me’ time.”
We’ve all said it, ladies. There comes a point in every hectic, social-butterfly’s life that us gals know all too well: the point of no return. Unfortunately, it’s pretty necessary that you return from that point.
Boys are frustrating, school is stressful, and everything somehow becomes way more complicated and overwhelming than it needs to be. Even your Twitter followers are down. I’ll be the first to admit I’m no expert. Heck, last week I told my mother that I had anxiety and her friend suggested that coloring helps to deal with stress. Yesterday, I received a package in the mail: cookies, a Lisa Frank coloring book and a brand new pack of crayons. While my childhood memories and taste buds gleamed in excitement, my heart sunk a little. Can coloring really help me find myself?
The concept of ‘me’ time has long been a reoccurring one, however according to WebMD, research has shown that women are less happy today than in the past 40 years. A shocking result, since advocating for young women’s independence, well-being and activism has spiked in recent years. The study found the most likely reason to be a lack of free time.
The psychology minor in me has given this a lot of thought, and though free time may be a good theory, confounding variables, or alternatives, are highly likely and can be applied very easily. Maybe more free time is needed, but the key lies in the right kind of free time, which may be different than you would think. In order to truly focus on oneself, a person must be selfish. Yes, I said it. In no way can you use me as a reference to why you stole your friend’s last piece of gum. Nevertheless, making time to be selfish is often necessary and extremely over-looked. Why?
1. Learn to say no. “Do you have a pair of heels that I can borrow? And return in three months?” Um, no. “I want to come up and visit in two weeks, can I stay at your place? (#andmakeacompletemess).” Um, no. “We, the roommates, have all agreed that since you’re not going out tonight, you can come pick us up from the bars, even though you’re studying for an exam.” Um, NO. Learn to stand up for yourself and not give in to favors so easily. You’re not being mean, you’re caring about your own well-being, and that’s what needs to be put first, always. Capiche?
2. Say yes — to those who matter most. As we mature into young women, we begin to realize who the most important people in our lives are and what they mean to us. The point of ‘me’ time isn’t to distance yourself from others. Your family members (and those who practically are), can be the shining light that leads you to what you’re looking for, so let them guide you. If your sister brings out the best in you, let her. Spend your time with people who value what they have when they spend time with you.
3. Have a meeting with yourself. Organize your life. Talk to yourself, sing out loud and form words to describe the traffic jam stuck in your head. Take two seconds to think about it. Now, throw it all away. Forget about everything. Let the silence and the lack of thought engulf your conscious for one minute. Do it while walking home from class — no phone calls, no music. Just you and the streets below. Look out the window in your room. It’s just you and the rustling of the wind. For one minute, the world feels lighter. Although, a shoulder rub from time to time still wouldn’t hurt.
4. No excuses. There it is again — NO. I’m the queen of procrastination. I’m a hypocrite, but I’m a dreamer. And some day I hope to take my own advice. Case in point: You didn’t forget to do the dishes, you just didn’t want to. You didn’t accidentally fall asleep while studying, you let yourself. You haven’t put off mailing your absentee ballot application because you’re “not sure what you’re supposed to do,” you haven’t even looked up the requirements. Stop making excuses for the things in your life that you have control over. Be proactive.
5. Indulge. This may be no surprise, but it’s important to set aside time to do what you love, no matter what that is. “I usually set a time for myself each night to stop doing work, eat something sweet and watch cheesy, trashy reality television before going to bed,” senior Jocelyn Brumbaugh said. While, sophomore Jennifer Flemming likes going for a run exploring campus. Don’t limit yourself to the expectations of others. If getting to know yourself means admitting that you’re a “Belieber,” then it’s time you admit it. Indulgements will be a little different for everyone. My father watches “Seinfeld.” Personally, I enjoy about 10 Oreos. Whatever the cause of your “high on life” feeling, making room for a little each week is always beneficial.
A drunken conversation with myself once told me that I am who I let myself be. My reasoning: because you are your own gateway to happiness. Bravo self; a real big congratulations. Yet, while it might be impossible to ever truly love every single aspect about your life, it’s 100 percent possible to learn to love it. And, yes, I learned that.
www.forbes.com contributed to this article.