As we become firmly entrenched in midterm season, I am reflecting on the first month of the biggest transition of my life so far: going to college. I have barely begun to test the waters of a big new chapter, but even in this short amount of time I have discovered several new things about myself and the path I’m on. These experiences are not universal; everyone processes change differently, and everyone reacts to new things in their own way. That being said, I hope that maybe a couple of these will speak to other freshmen who are learning to thrive in a brand-new environment.
- Don’t Expect to be a New Person Immediately
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Ah, college. A new chapter, a new life, a new you! Everyone reinvents themselves in college. Tattoos, piercings, new friends, new classes, new school, new home! I came into college with the expectation that I would blossom immediately, that I would figure out exactly who I am and embrace the person I had hidden for most of my life. As it turns out, change happens slowly. So much of college is about self-discovery, and there is no way I could have learned enough in my first month to completely change who I am. For sure, I feel more independent and a heck of a lot less stressed than I did in high school. But I’m not all that different than I was a month ago.
- My Parents Are Amazing
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Not to be cliché, but the second my parents left me standing on the sidewalk outside my dorm, all I wanted to do was call them and demand what to do next! I had told my parents I didn’t want them to call me because I was going to be my own adult person in my own adult place. In reality? I call my parents at least 4 times a week. Usually more. Sometimes twice in one day. There is literally no one who gives better advice than my mom, and no one makes me laugh more than my dad. Of course, I am extremely fortunate to have parents whom I love and get along with. Not everyone is that lucky. But in my case, my respect and appreciation for those two goons increased tenfold this month!
- Friendships May Not Happen That Fast
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In my opinion, making new friends was the scariest part of transitioning to college. I already had two or three best friends at home that I love with all my heart, and making new ones seemed like a terrifying prospect. I ended up making some good friends fairly quickly, but it’s still not the same as my friends from back home. It can be upsetting to feel isolated even as you meet wonderful new people who are fun to spend time with, especially if you feel like you can’t truly talk to them yet. I found myself feeling alone at one point, and immediately wondered who I was supposed to talk to. I didn’t want to feel as though I was burdening my new friends with my problems, and I had to remind myself that even though I felt lonely in the moment, connections with other people will come. You just can’t force it!
- I’m More Capable than I Thought I Was
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At home, my room was always messy. Teachers and parents had a big hand in creating my routines and schedules. It was a lot easier to get things done when you had other people advocating for you. In college, you’re expected to be much more of a self-starter; you’re in charge of your schedule and your education! That was honestly a scary thought for me. What if I was a mess without the support system I’ve always had? But one month in and I’ve realized that I’m doing it and it’s not all that hard. It’s not even something I really have to think about. It’s all happened pretty naturally!
- Saying No Takes Practice
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In my first month here, I have said yes to practically everything. Yes to every club at the Hub Involvement fair, yes to the Creamery for lunch, yes to that party on the other side of campus at 12:30 am, yes to the gym with a friend, yes, yes, yes! I have had to remind myself of how much I value time alone to de-stress and unwind. Saying no in order to take care of my own physical and mental health does not mean that I’m going to miss out on incredibly fun times, or that everyone else is suddenly going to become best friends in one night without me. It just means that I’m taking care of myself, and that’s something that absolutely has to come before every party, outing, or social event. The fear of missing out is strong and saying “no” is still something I’m practicing. Hopefully it’ll be a little easier by the end of my four years here.
College so far is a wild ride, and I’m learning new things about myself way faster than I ever have before. I get more comfortable every day, but I’m trying not to expect everything to fall into place so quickly. And in the meantime, I’m looking forward to seeing where I am two months in, and then three, and before I know it I’ll be reflecting on my whole first year.