The 5 Stages of Daylonging

The 5 Stages of Daylonging

1. The Wake Up

You wake up still drunk from the night before, (hopefully in your own bed) and would rather gauge your eyes out with forks than think of consuming one more shot of Vlad. But in the world of Spring Semester, you must prevail and get out of bed, which happens to feel like the most comfortable place on the entire Earth this particular morning, otherwise you’ll be stuck at home with a huge case of FOMO. So you quick shove something that could pass as breakfast in your mouth, put something on that is ‘Daylong-Cute’, aka high-waisted shorts, crop top, cardigan, Ray Bans, high tops, and give yourself a pep talk on how you will not puke today. Now that you’re feeling less like death, the drinking commences.

2. The Pregame

This stage is optional, depending on 1. How hungover you are that morning and 2. How early you actually wake up. If you’re lucky enough to be functioning human being then you will find yourself deciding that it’s a grand idea to take 3-4 shots right off the bat while singing along to Timber. Props to you.

3. The Daylong

The best thing that has ever happened to Saturdays, ever. No matter what the weather is like, anyone and everyone will day drink if the opportunity arises. It’s a day full of raging your face off while being outside and loving life in every way. Even though you’re probably consuming bad beer and even worse vodka, it’s totally okay because you’re most likely already drunk. You’ll pretty much be done drinking by 2, 3 at the latest. If not, shotgun another beer or two. Or six.  

4. The Point of No Return – You’re Hungry AF

It’s all fun and games until you’re seriously drunk and so hungry you’re literally about to raid the fridge of whatever random house or frat. You’ve had enough day drinking and partying on the roof, at least for now, and your mind has suddenly fixated on one thing and one thing only – Chipotle. Chipotle is probably the best thing known to mankind, which makes it even 100x better when you’re extremely intoxicated. The only issue with this is that every other college student is thinking the same things, so of course the line is approximately 45-60 minutes long. But at that point, you don’t care, you just are drunk daydreaming about the burrito you’ll be nomming on hardcore with a side of legendary guac and chips, and no you will not be sharing any of it. You’ll down the food in probably less than 10 minutes, a new drunk eating record, and then won’t be able to move because you’re currently in the beginning stages of a serious food coma.

5. The PTFO Stage

You. Are. Done. You are irritable more than words can describe and probably dont’ look your finest. You thought you could power through and rage on into the night but who the heck are you kidding, give me a bed and give me one now. You walk/stumble/crawl back to your apartment praying that your key is still attached to the hair tie on your wrist. You walk in the door, casually running into a few walls until you reach the Holy Grail that is your bed. You probably take off your shoes, but it’s not a guarantee, and face dive into your blankets. Before you pass out for all eternity, you quickly check for the necessities. Keys, wallet, phone, dignity (rarely), okay we’re good. 

• 2014
• celebrate
• celebration
• college
• day drinking
• drinking
• fun
• party
• psu
• rally