Many young mothers rely on the support of their parents, so these babies are practically raised by their grandparents. This was the case when it came to my relationship with my grandmother.
My mother had me when she was my age – which is tough to grasp. I often stayed with my grandmother when my mother worked, and from there she became like my second mother. I am incredibly fortunate to have had such a close relationship with her my entire life.
I could go on and on about what an amazing woman she is, because she is the most empowering person I’ve had in my life. However, she has also taught me important lessons, which I will carry in my suitcase forever.
Here are five of them.
- Everything Happens For a Reason
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My gram always said this when it came to something as small as forgetting something on my way to school and we had to turn around, or something like going through a break-up.
I won’t lie, sometimes it was frustrating – but it was only frustrating because I didn’t have the capacity to understand it yet.
When she says, “everything happens for a reason,” she isn’t just trying to make me feel better.
Maybe we would have gotten into an accident if we didn’t turn around when I forgot something. The break-up had a meaning, they weren’t the right one for me. When I experienced episodes of depression from family issues, she told me how strong I would become and how helpful my story would be for others someday.
Typically, and arguably, she has been right.
- Don’t Dive in Too Quickly
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Time after time, after each heartbreak, she has told me that I have too big of a heart for some people.
She has always been there to wipe my tears, but she also reminds me that rushing in a relationship is foolish. She’s not one to tell you what you want to hear, but she tells you what you need to hear and has a wise way of doing it.
My grandma told me stories of when she was young and her experiences in the dating world. She admits it’s not exactly the same now; the ill-intentions of some men and women remain the same.
She has always reminded me to be cautiously optimistic — to know my worth and see if they catch up.
“Don’t get attached too quickly,” she says.
- Enjoy Your Children While They’re Small
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Although I do not have children of my own yet, this lesson began when my youngest sister was born. I was 12 years old, and holding her for the first time was the most special experience I’ve ever had. I realized there is something magical about holding a newborn.
Soon I was 14, she was two, and she didn’t want to cuddle with me anymore. Then I was 16 and she was four, and she wanted to follow my friends and I around everywhere. Finally, I left for college at 18, I came back and she had grown four inches. I blinked, and now she is eight.
When I was little, Gram told me that childhood goes by quickly, but I didn’t believe her because mine felt like it had dragged on forever.
“Hang onto your children while they’re small, and take in every moment,” she says.
- Never Settle, Stand Up for Yourself
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Whether you’re in a relationship or an authority figure is giving you unjustified grief, my grandma always told me not to settle.
When she found out that my mother was getting severely bullied in school, she went full-on “mama bear” mode. Not only did she call the school, but after they wouldn’t listen, she went to her school and told off each of my mother’s teachers — including the principal.
The bullying subsided, and the teachers finally started paying attention.
- Stop Holding Grudges
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My grandma has always said, “it doesn’t do you any good to hold onto anger, just let it go – it’ll eat you up.”
With that, she has reminded me to treat others better than they treat you, because their behavior is a reflection of how they’re feeling inside.
Truly, this list could go on forever, but these are my favorites and possibly the most important.
From the early morning talks over coffee to my phone calls home every hour when I miss her, my gram is always there. She is my inspiration and my second mom, and most importantly, I learned from my grandmother’s character. Each day, she continues to teach me, and I’ll cherish these lessons forever.
