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25 Signs You Have Zero Chill

Some of us are pretty laid-back people. We go with the flow, are fairly mellow and make responsible, not impulsive decisions. However, some of us are the type of people who are frequently diagnosed as “lacking chill.”  We’re the people who will text you 10 times until you answer, make a 100 second Snapchat story, take the extra shot just to keep up and dance on the elevated surface until the frat brothers ask us to personally leave. Here are the signs that you have absolutely no chill.


1. You’ve been banned from a frat… or three


2. You actually yell “We are!” at tour groups


3. You’ve used someone else’s Uber, a Canyon delivery car or the Lion Chariot as a way of transportation around Fratland


4. 90 percent of the messages in your GroupMes are from you


5. If your friends can’t find you on an elevated surface at a party, they start to get worried


6. You buy your books and print out your syllabus before your classes even start


7. You only at least double text


8. Heels that are shorter than four inches are not considered heels


9. You’ve hooked up with a guy because you were bored even though you have class with him


10. You’ve had multiple confrontations about your level of noise in Paterno


11. You’ve stalked your latest hookup’s new Instagram followers and the pictures he recently liked


12. And you’ve stalked him on LinkedIn too, and his account confirms he looks great in a suit


13. You have not one but multiple Pinterest boards dedicated to your future wedding


14. You’re never one to willingly leave a party, no matter how drunk you may be or how hard your friends beg you


15. You pet service dogs even though their harnesses clearly say “service dog: do not pet”  


16. You may have “borrowed” a composite from a frat… and a flag… and a trophy or two


17. Making conversation with the Uber driver is one of your favorite parts of going out


18. When asked, “Who do you know here?” you name all of the brothers in the frat just to prove a point


19. You’ve called or texted the professor’s number listed on the syllabus


20. Your Snapchat story is over 10 minutes long


21. No text is complete without an emoji


22. You actually got on the wall at Cafe


23. You take themes to the extreme


24. You Instagram at least twice a week (selfies included)


25. You’ve gotten into a legit fight with the Willard Preacher


At first, having “no chill” may not seem like the greatest thing in the world. But, we would have to beg to differ. Sure, we may get some bizarre looks from strangers, and our friends may have even called us “crazy” one too many times. But, we never seem to mind. Whether we’re dancing by ourselves on elevated surfaces or telling our whole life story to our new best friend, the Uber driver we’re not afraid to embrace who we are and totally own it at the end of the day.

Image Credit: 1

Kelsie Ahern is a Sophomore at Penn State majoring in Public Relations and minoring in Art History. She has a love for everything fashion, french bull dogs, and a good brunch.
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