10 Thoughts Running Through the Mind of a Barista

If you work in a coffee shop or anywhere that serves coffee, you know what I’m about to talk about. We all know those picky, annoying customers that come in and expect way too much from us and our single-serve espresso machines. Here are ten things we say and think as a barista every. single. day.

 

1.  “Yes, we have almond milk, Janet.” “Yes, I’ll make sure they don’t use 2%.” “Yes, I promise we will use almond milk.”

 

2. So, that’s a triple half-caff extra dry cappuccino with soy milk and vanilla? Yep, I’ll definitely remember all of that.

 

3. A large black coffee with cream? So, which is it?

 

4. I know you just told me your name but I don’t remember it, so I’m just going to yell out, “Large vanilla latté!”

 

5. A triple-latté with two extra shots? Alright, John, but when you have a heart attack I don’t want to hear it.

 

6. I know you’re trying to make small talk with me while I finish your order, but I cannot mentally handle talking about the weather one more time.

 

7. “I’ll have a large decaf latté with an extra shot.” What’s the point of the extra shot? It’s decaf.

 

8. “Oh, sorry, I haven’t had my coffee yet!” Alright, Greg.

 

9. Oh, please keep throwing your half-full coffee cups in the trashcan. I love when the bag leaks all over my shoes and the floor! I can’t think of anything more fun!

 

10. It’s 30 seconds until we close, but sure, I’ll make you a large frozen caramel latté with almond milk. Let me just get out the blender and everything else I just cleaned so I can rewash it all again in two minutes.

Although it may seem like I hate every single part of my job, there are a few perks… like free coffee. Thanks a latté!