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What Growing Up with Divorced Parents Taught Me

1. Divorce taught me independence.

My parents got divorced was I was very young, which forced me to become independent very quickly. I was old enough that I knew something was happening but young enough to not realize that divorces were “different” and that some people lived “differently” than I did. After my parents got a divorce, they began doing their own things. We were obviously still their number one priority, but they started a new chapter in their lives and had other things to focus on. My parents were always there for me but I started to realize that I should do things for myself. I soon found myself relying less and less on my parents, letting them deal with what they had to do, and mainly relied on myself.

 

2. Divorce taught me that my siblings will always be there for me.

When things weren’t going well for my parents, I turned to my siblings. Don’t get me wrong, there were multiple times when I didn’t get along with all of them, but no matter what we were all there for each other. No matter what was happening in our lives, we all knew that we had to stick together.

 

3. Divorce taught me how to deal with change/accept change.

 

 

When my parents divorced, it changed everything for my family. We all had to adjust to a whole new situation and it certainly wasn’t easy. There were times when I wish my parents were still together and that we were a “normal family”, but I knew that it was never going to happen and I got used to it. I learned to accept it. I learned to accept change. A lot of people aren’t comfortable with change but change constantly happened when I was growing up. I was always moving, always meeting new people, and finally, learning how to adapt to a new family (which by the way, is a wonderful perk and I now have wonderful step siblings).

 

 

4. Divorce taught me eye-opening lessons.

My parents getting a divorce turned into a real eye-opening lesson for me. It opened my eyes up to a lot of things. One of the most important things I’ve learned from it is what a healthy relationship looks like. When I was little, I remember I could hear them arguing in the kitchen when they thought we were sleeping and pretended it didn’t happen when I woke up the next day. Towards the end of it all, they couldn’t fake it anymore and I knew. Although my parents splitting up was unfortunate, it taught me what a good relationship should be and the person you’re with should bring you sunshine and not storms. Another thing that divorce taught me was to see my parents for who they are and not just as my “parents”. I feel like I got to learn a lot about my parents and what they are like after they divorced. I get to see all sides of them and now I can have serious conversations with them and am able to see them as “people” more than just “parents”.

 

 

5. Divorce taught me communication and how to be a good communicator.

Divorce definitely taught me communication and how to communicate and keep a schedule. Telling my parents things was never easy and I know my parents telling my siblings and myself wasn’t ever easy either. Seeing all sorts of emotions and seeing them communicate to us through this divorce made it easy for all of us to speak on how we were feeling or what was happening with us. It made me a better communicator and I’m so glad to have picked up on that earlier than later.

 

 

6. Divorce taught me that no matter what happens, my parents love us.

Regardless of the situation and how your parents may feel towards each other, they still love you unconditionally and they always will. My parents don’t have the best relationship still to this day, but if there’s something that they have in common – it’s the love they have for my brothers, sisters, and myself. Growing up, I saw a lot of things that happened between them but the love and care we received never changed.

 

Divorce isn’t easy. It’s something that takes a huge adjustment. It’s something that can be hard to deal with but I feel like you can learn from it. I’m not mad at my parents for it because I know it was honestly the best thing for my family. For me, I learned a lot. I learned, I grew, and I got another family. I was blessed with the best step family anybody could ask for. When I go home, I know I get to go home with not just one, but two loving families, and that makes me the happiest person in the world. While the divorce was hard for me sometimes, it definitely made my heart so much bigger.

 

HCXO

 

Image credits:

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

Abby Lawton

PS Behrend

Communication major at Penn State Behrend | ΘΦΑ avid concert-goer, frequent coffee consumer, and aspiring music publicist ready to leave her mark on the world. lover of fuzzy blankets, mascara, and sunflowers. 
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