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It has been often said that there are three significant and important loves in our life. Each of these loves is for different reasons and are said to shape us into the people we are today. It is not clear whether we all experience this but studies have shown that it is a common thread among many people and relationships.


The theory goes like this:


Our first love is usually a young type of love and centered around lust. We are young humans, just getting our grasp on love and what we think love is. We base it off movies and books and songs. We are aware of and get feelings for people but we aren’t aware of ALL that goes into a relationship or loving someone outside of a family member. This is the most naive of our three loves because we base it off of standards and societal norms. Often times, this relationship is more about the attention you receive from being in the relationship instead of the connection you have with the person.



Our second love is said to be our hardest love and centered around passion. This one causes a strong emotional connection between two people and usually these two people have a high degree of emotional and physical chemistry. This one tends to be the hardest of them all because passion overrides almost every other emotion in our body. This one teaches us lessons about what we want, who we are and the love we deserve. The second love brings the most pain and hurt and is usually unbalanced and unhealthy. The passion in this one kicks in and makes us hold on to it even when we know it is not good for us. The thought that we can fix it becomes a reoccurring and repetitive thought that the idea of ‘maybe it’s not meant to’ is usually overlooked until the relationship is stretched and worn out and both partners are at a loss. The end of this love is never easy and leaves a lasting mark.



Our third love is said to be the one we don’t see coming. It happens so fast and so easily, we doubt whether it is actually love. It’s the love you never looked for and never asked for but it showed up and won’t leave. The puzzle pieces just start fitting together and molding a healthy, wonderful, happy relationship. It doesn’t match all our ideals and wants but it exceeds all the cons.



There wasn’t much research done about which love many people end up with, but many have said that some people will just bypass one and two and find their third love. They are deemed “the lucky ones” because they never had to endure love one and two. Some have said that the ones they ended up with turned out to be a combination of two and three after some time apart. My opinion of it all, is I think it is true. As I write this and reflect on whether or not I have one, two or maybe even all three of these kinds of loves, I believe that I do have them and I’m excited to see how the story turns out.

Whichever the case may be, the theory and thought of this all is interesting and intriguing because it makes you think who each of your loves were/are, where it all ties together and how your perception of love was shaped.




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Brittany is a senior Ecology, Evolution, & Behavior major with a minor in Communications in Art & Mass Media. Along with being a member of Her Campus, she is a member of Theta Phi Alpha and Lion Ambassadors. She is the Coordinator of Publicity for Project Paws and Event Planning Chair for our very own HerCampus. Brittany LOVES to craft in her spare time and is quite the animal and nature lover. Instagram: brittanyt6 Twitter: @brittany_t6
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