When I was younger, my grandma sat me down to have a serious talk. She told me to focus on school, family and friends and to not make boys my first priority. As a high school student, I thought this was dumb advice because, what can I say, I was a tad boy crazy. It has been about 7 years since that talk and college has really shown me just how right she was.
My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year now and I care about him a lot, however, he is not my first priority. Sorry Chad. I have seen too many girls have a type of tunnel vision for their boyfriends and forget about some really important things.
School
This is probably the thing that baffles me the most. I think we all know how important school is, which is why many of us pay thousands of dollars each year. It paves the way for our future and quitting school for a guy can ruin your life if you do not end up being together forever. (Spoiler alert: Statistics show that only about 28% of college relationships actually last after college)
Work
As a college student, my job is very important to me. It is what helps me survive and what helps me pay for my three box subscriptions. And I am definitely not saying that money is everything, but it is pretty important. My boyfriend works an 8-5 Monday through Friday job so he is usually unavailable to do much on the weekdays, but I would never ask him to quit to spend more time with me. As adults in a relationship, I understand that work and money are very important especially if you have to pay rent and other bills.
Extra-Curricular Activities
Whether you are on a sports team, in a club or even a member of a sorority, most people in college end up joining at least one organization. It’s fun, you meet new people and it looks great on a resume. However, these organizations can take up a lot of time, so many consider dropping once in a relationship to create some extra time. The reason many put activities on a resume is because it can prove you have leadership skills, time management skills and many other qualities jobs search for, however, if you put on your resume you only did it for one year, it can show that you lack responsibility and lack the ability to commit to the things you sign up for.
Friends
Someone great (Carrie Bradshaw) once said, “No matter who broke your heart, or how long it takes to heal, you’ll never get through it without your friends.” Many people, and even I have been guilty of doing this, forget about or cut off friends due to a relationship because they want to spend more time with their significant others, their boyfriend doesn’t like their friends or many, many other reasons. But honestly, that’s the worst thing you can do. Friends are there for you. They are there to make you food when you are sick. They are there to eat ice cream and cake with you when you are heartbroken. They are there to help you with homework when you are confused. They are there to do random activities when you are bored. Statistics also show that 45% of college friends continue to be friends into adulthood and remain friends later in life. (Which is a lot higher than the 28% of relationships that last) Imagine how high that percent could be if we were more grateful for those friends.
I am not saying that relationships aren’t important. Like I said, I love my boyfriend, but I also love other things. I love my major and my school. I love making money (no day is better than pay day). I love writing for Her Campus and I love my sorority. I love my friends more than anything and I am so grateful for the ones who have stuck by my side.
A healthy relationship is one that is balanced. So remember to keep it balanced. It is okay to spend a night alone and get some homework done. It is okay to take a girl’s weekend and it is okay to go out to the bars without your boyfriend. It is okay that they aren’t in all the clubs you are in. Relationships are hard but keeping it balanced and maintaining other good relationships outside of it can make it a lot easier.