Pesky Exes

The holiday season is over and all the boyfriends and girlfriends have settled down from bouncing from family to family and from dinner to dinner. All the cute, winter dates while they are home are over and we have all returned to school. Whether your ex is single or taken, now is a prime time for them to weasel their way back in and make their presence known. In my opinion, I have categorized the “pesky ex-text” into two reasons; either they are bored with their current relationship status (or lack thereof)/bored in general or they are lonely seeing all the cute, winter couple pics. Either way, the text completely flips your day and either makes you happy or incredibly furious.



Now I’m not talking about the ex that you are mutual with and occasionally send the platonic text wishing them well or checking in. Those are fine. The “pesky ex-text” I am referring to are the messages that come out of nowhere. Literally, there is no warning sign. Just BAM! Message.

Usually, from exes we would prefer we didn’t hear from because somehow, SOMEHOW, they have this psychic ability to know when to swoop back in.



These messages come in various forms, such as; adding the person on Snapchat and sending them a snap, the “you up?” text, the random DM on Instagram or twitter that starts as them being mean but turning into “I miss you, let’s hook up”, re-following them on literally everything and liking every single one of their posts or pictures, commenting on the pictures, you get the gist.




If you are single and have been missing this ex, then maybe the random message is a good thing and you can rekindle the fire, but I advise to tread lightly in case it really is just a booty call. Or if you’re taken and you’re happy where you are, you’ve moved on and have created this whole new life without that person, the message can be annoying and frustrating.


For any person, questions flood their mind when communication has come through. Why are they messaging me? What happened to (name of current boyfriend/girlfriend)? Why were they thinking about me? What do they want? Should I answer? What does it mean if I answer? Do I even want to talk to them? What do I do if they answer a certain way? When was the last time I even spoke to them? WHAT DO THEY WANT?!



There are just so many emotions when an old boyfriend or girlfriend hits you up out of the blue. How you respond is up to you but after some research here are some of my favorites:

  • “I ate a baby carrot earlier and thought of your dick” or “how can I move on when every time I go outside I see things that remind me of you like my trash can”

  • “I think my middle finger just got a boner, eff you”

  • Respond with HSM’s Gotta Go My Own Way

  • “If I was there I’d warm you up… by setting you on fire”

  • Uncontrollable laughter



Stay strong out there, you never know when your phone is going to go off at 3 A.M. from an unexpected guest. If all else fails and you’re stuck, just pretend you got a new phone.


Good luck!



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