Just Trying to Find Ourselves

The ultimate goal in our lives, what almost every human I have come into contact with yearns for, is to be able to find ourselves. Technically, yes we are always who we are, there are no means for us to magically transform into an entirely different person or even assume a new identity.  But think of it this way, songs are generally created with a specific concept in mind. They then become a demo, somewhat of a rough draft, a stepping stone before the final copy is sent into the universe to forever leave its footprint in space, however big or small. It is like having your fortune read, yes you draw a certain hand, but it is up to you to do with and interpret the spread how you wish. We all have ideals for the type of person we wish to become and try to lay the groundwork to achieve that goal. The thing is, life doesn’t come with a manual, nor is it a straight shot to this goal. Things take time, building a life for yourself, your true self, takes all the time in the world. Being able to understand yourself through all the trials that life may throw at you will make the path all the more clear once the clouds dissipate. Personally, I have had a lot of strange trials of my own over my life thus far. Between the ages of 12 and 17 I have had four orthopedic surgeries on both my knees and hip through no physical fault of my own. I have been in constant chronic pain ever since I can remember because I am, like my mom used to say, just built differently. I am only 20 years old and I am in physical pain almost every day. I don’t often discuss the pain because ultimately I am used to it and complaining isn’t going to change anything. But the thing is, I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. Through this, I have experienced some of the biggest challenges of my life that have morphed me into the person I am today. When you look at a tree, you don’t think that it is ugly for the way that the wind has twisted its trunk and branches. Instead, you appreciate the beautiful leaves that are trained to reach toward the sun and the sturdy roots that support a stable trunk. Trees must brave the elements, and we must do the same. Do not stop good things from happening in fear that they are too risky or even somewhat scary. I thought I knew who I was before I came to college and here I am now, three years later with a new major, temperament, intellect and overall outlook on life. I could lie to everyone in this article and say I knew exactly who I was, but my journey is still continuing. I have found that the best way to truly get to know yourself is to spend some time alone, which is honestly something I quite enjoy. Being alone doesn't necessarily mean that you are lonely, and nor should it. Just like we need to spend time with others to get to know them better, we need to do the same with ourselves. Get to know your thoughts, emotions and actions on an entirely different level. Come to understand your heart's "dodges and tricks, and to accept it as it" is (Coelho 129). One day, when the time comes I’ll be exactly where I need to be – and exactly who I need to be.


Work Cited: 

  • Coelho, Paulo. The Alchemist. San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1998. Print.
  • Kaur, Rupi. Milk and Honey. Kansas City, MO: Andrews McMeel, 2015. Print.

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