Anonymous 1:
Growing up my family on the outside seemed fine and that our lives were great, my parents were together and they had four children and to everyone else seemed so in love. But things were different when we got home and the doors were closed. Everything was always made to look better than it actually was. Inside my house, it was normal for my parents to be fighting about something, even the small things every day. I was more concerned when things were going well. It was always clear when my mom was mad at my dad because we either had spaghetti or tuna noodle casserole for dinner since my dad hated both of those meals. It was just a strange environment to grow up in, usually, when parents did not get along they either separated or divorced, but not my parents. Fast-forward 31 years later and they are still going strong I suppose.
The problem with this environment is that at a young age you think this is normal and that there is nothing wrong with this. But then I started making friends and soon realized that parents did not act like this, there shouldn’t be a family war going on day in and day out. That love is not supposed to be this way. Which is why relationships have always been harder for me because I do not want to get close to people because I’m terrified of having a relationship like my parents. I became fearful of people, not knowing when or if someone was going to explode and destroy everything around them. While there was never physical violence between my parents there was emotional abuse towards each other. But I think the worst part of growing up this way is that my parents would tell me how much they hated or didn’t get along with my other parent. And as a child and even now I have no idea what to do with this information or even how to respond.
But even growing up with parents who were not happy with each other I did learn something very important. I learned that love does not look like this, that love should not be a screaming match between each other. That fighting is one thing but fighting every day is another thing. But I learned that this is not the love that I want in my life, that you should never stay with someone that has nothing good to say about you or to you. It showed me what a toxic relationship looks like and that you do not have to say in it, you are allowed to walk away. Never be afraid to walk away, toxic relationships will only get worse and it will drain you of everything you have.
Anonymous 2:
“I hate your father”, “I hate your mother”, “Your dad drives me crazy”, “Your mom is so selfish”.
The last memory I have of my parents acting lovingly toward one another was over five years ago. My youngest sibling can only remember a time where my parents were fighting. The moment where my parents went from lovey-dovey to hating one another was around eight-ish years ago. Some health problems arose in my littlest sibling and the stress of it all was taken out on each other. There wasn’t like a specific day when everything changed for them, it happened over a period of a few months. But, ever since then, it has been nothing but negativity in my home.
Going through puberty in an exclusively negative household was horrible, to say the least. I didn’t have any self-esteem or confidence in myself. I lacked courage and was made fun of for being shy and naive. It took me until I started college to realize that I control my own life and the only way people can make me feel bad is if I let them. I discovered the power of optimism and holistic healing methods and found that I can manifest what I want to see in my life. I have been in a steady relationship for over a year now and I feel I found that love through positive thinking. I see now what real love is and it is incredibly empowering to know that I don’t have to end up like my parents if I refuse to let it happen.