Breaking up with the Family

Goodbye: The usual ending of a break-up. Goodbye to a relationship. Goodbye to the things you did together. Goodbye to the inside jokes and fun memories. Goodbye to talking to that person everyday. But one of the hardest goodbyes for some, is the goodbye to the family you grew close to.


Break-ups are hard. People will always tell you about the different stages of break-ups and how to deal with them. They tell you that these feelings will fade and that soon, you’ll be comfortable again to look at the pictures and listen to the songs that remind you of them. But what about if you grew close to your significant other’s family as well? A break up, for some, isn’t just about ending things with your SO. It means breaking up with their family as well. To me, they are both just as bad and heartbreaking.


I have had the absolute honor of getting to know an incredible, selfless, and all-around amazing family while being with my ex-boyfriend. I was with him since the middle of highschool, which is the beginning of when we start to realize who we are, who we want to be and how we want to become that person. Everyone we come in contact with can play a role and many people may not realize that a significant other’s family could have been some of those people.


This family, in addition to my own, helped shape who I was. My family is by no means perfect and we don’t get along always. I always looked up to my ex’s family as the perfect, nuclear family because, to me, they were. I was invited to all holidays, vacations, birthdays, baptisms, family events/gatherings, you name it. I felt like a part of their family. My favorite fruit was even added to the fruit salads every time his mom knew I was coming. They accepted me for my weird quirks and mismatching socks and I accepted them. Not every couple is close with each other’s families but when you click with the family, it’s the best feeling ever. Being a part of a significant other’s family makes you feel like that relationship can and will outlast anything. Nothing can get in the way...until the relationship ends.


Break-ups are hard enough on the two in the relationship, but having to say goodbye to not only a significant other, but a family that accepted you as one of their own is equally as hard. Sure you’re still Facebook friends, you still like each other’s photos and occasionally bump into each other at home, but it will never compare to the overwhelming amount of togetherness and acceptance you had when you were with your significant other.


As we get older, we realize that those bridges don’t need to be burned and that we can still talk to each other as adults, but it never fills the void of what you had. Memories stay old memories and all that is left is seeing pictures of the birthdays, holidays and vacations you were once a part of on Facebook.

Though the relationship has been over for awhile, I still think of his family often. They shaped who he is as a person and helped make me who I am today and for that, I am grateful.


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